Thursday, February 25, 2010

Cheesecake News

Hi, my name is Nathan.

BEN: Is there a reason I have to be here for this?

I've called a meeting.

HANK: Hey, at least we have an excuse to eat cheesecake.

A meeting at the Factory.

All the CBQ's were in attendance. This was, after all, a life-altering move on my part.

ME: I've called you all here today, because I will no longer be attending Ocean State.

Instant ruckus--perfect.

BEN: You know, as cheap ploys to get attention go, this isn't all that original.
CARTER: Yeah, I've dropped out, like, tons of times.
ME: Oh, but I'm not dropping out. I'm transferring.

Jackson stood up.

JACKSON: Don't you think as my boyfriend, I should have been made aware of this.
ME: Jackson, we're just friends with benefits.
JACKSON: Yeah, and those benefits don't come with a long distance policy.
BILLY: Does this mean one less person using the bathroom in the morning?
JACKSON: Shut up, Billy!
JEREMY: Everybody, calm down! No wonder Nathan wants to get out of here. I'd transfer if I had more than five months left to go.

Ah, Jeremy. Always the voice of the reason. Always so sweet and--

DAVIS: So Nathan, where you headed?

I smiled.

ME: Well, I'm sure my boyfriend will be happy to know I'll be staying in the same city.
RITCHIE: Wait, you mean--
ME: That's right.

Rhode Island College, here I come.

No comments: