Just So We're Clear

Hi, my name is Davis.

ME: Do I have to strangle you to death in my own apartment?

My husband is trying to destroy me.

HANK: What part of 'state of emergency' don't you understand?
ME: It's just snow, Hank. It's frozen water.
HANK: Actually, that's ice.
ME: Fine. So we're talking Slushies here. Now get out of my way.

But when I opened the door--

JOAN: Well hello.

--I knew I was going anywhere.

ME: If I don't invite you in, does that mean you can't enter?
JOAN: That's only for vampires.
ME: Exactly.
JOAN: Hank!

Excellent. She's spotted other bait. Maybe I can sneak out the--

HANK: I should be going.
ME: Going? Going where?
HANK: Someone has to make sure the gays don't tear down the club trying to get out.
JOAN: Oh sweetheart, there's a parking ban. The roads are a mess. You could die out there.
ME: Yeah, stay here with me and Joan.
HANK: I'll take my chances with the prospect of death. Bye bye!

Hank took off leaving me alone with Joan. I tried to remember where I keep my sharpest knives.

Joan sat down on our couch, and removed a piece of paper from her purse.

ME: What's that?
JOAN: That's the report I received from the detective you hired.
ME: What detective?
JOAN: Don't play dumb with me, Davis. I know you hired someone. Your mistake was hiring someone who couldn't be bought out at a better price.
ME: I hired someone to do some digging and figure out who could be a bone marrow match for me.
JOAN: And?
ME: And he couldn't find anybody.
JOAN: Oh, he found someone. He just didn't tell you. Because I got to him first.
ME: Joan, what is this about?

She stood up and went over to my bar to fix herself a drink.

JOAN: I thought maybe you were doing it for Jeremy--or Jackson--who knows? I didn't realize you had cancer at the time.
ME: Leukemia.
JOAN: Whatever.
ME: Again, does this actually pertain to you?

Joan smiled at me.

JOAN: Not so much to me, but to Paige, yes.
ME: I'm sorry?
JOAN: She's your match.

She held up the paper--the proof that I had a match. That I wasn't going to die!

ME: That's amazing! Paige is my match?
JOAN: Oh, she's not just your match, Davis.

And that's when her smile disappeared.

JOAN: She's your sister.

And mine went right along with it.