Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Save It For the Cameras, Ladies

Hi, my name is Jackson.

KATE: We're on air in two minutes!

All the CBQ's are lined up on Ritchie's stage.

When each of us walked out, the audience of die-hard fans went nuts. It was like we were the gay Beatles.

Even Nathan was there. Apparently he decided to join in at the last minute, although he didn't look happy about it.

He was sitting next to Ben, who was next to Jeremy, who was next to me.

On the other side of Nathan was Joey, Davis, Hank, and Billy.

Ritchie was going to be moving about the audience.

HANK: How'd the wedding go, Billy?
BILLY: My wife left me for a guy I turned straight.
ME: Which one?
BILLY: Shut up, Jackson.
HANK: That's what you get for trying to pretend you're a hetero.
DAVIS: Do I hear judgement in your tone, Hank?
HANK: Davis--
DAVIS: When you were just ripping Ritchie's clothes off--
ALL: Ewww!
HANK: Oh please, at least I didn't marry him, Ben.
BEN: What does that mean?
NATHAN: Please keep in mind that I've already shot somebody once this year, Hank.
JEREMY: Can we all try to be amicable?
JOEY: We can as soon as you explain what that means.
NATHAN: Jeremy always has to keep the peace, doesn't he?
JEREMY: Would you prefer I let my claws out like the rest of you?
HANK: The rest of us? What would you call writing that book?
ME: Back off, Hank.
HANK: Don't tell me what to do!

Before I knew it, I was rushing at Hank, but I landed on Davis, who I started punching anyway, just for good measure.

The whole thing turned into an immediate brawl, with the audience cheering us on.

We didn't even hear Kate do the countdown, or Ritchie's introduction.

RITCHIE: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome back, the CBQ's!

I think that was when I was yanking out a patch of Nathan's hair.

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