The Comeback Tour

Hi, my name is Adam.

ME: So let me get this straight--

Ben invited me to his theater to discuss the possibility of me giving him the greatest gift of all:

ME: --You want me to act here?

Myself.

BEN: We're in a tight spot financially. We could really use a bump in ticket sales. If we added you to a show currently in the season--
ME: I'll pick the show.
BEN: So you'll do it?
ME: Let's not get ahead of ourselves. You haven't even spoken to my agent yet.
BEN: What's his name?
ME: How should I know? Is it always this cold in here?
BEN: Uh--

He showed me around the theater, and by the end of the tour, I'd made up my mind.

ME: I'll do it.
BEN: I assumed that when you instructed my assistant to have the dressing room painted eggshell blue.
ME: You'll thank me later.
BEN: So what show do you want to do?
ME: Jeremy pitched you his new play, didn't he?
BEN: Yeah. You want to be in that?
ME: I'd kill to do that play.
BEN: Which role are you interested?
ME: Funnily enough--

Here's where I close the deal.

ME: I'd like to play you.

The look on his face told me that this was going to be an interesting trip home.