BILLY: Hey Birthday Boy.
God, he's sexy.
Billy had stopped by my place before the festivities at the club. It was going to be everyone's first time out since Joey's passing, and I wanted us to celebrate tonight after so much mourning.
BILLY: I have to talk to you.
So much for the celebration.
We sat down on my couch, and Billy took my hands in his. I was terrified that he was going to propose marriage or tell me that he used to be a woman.
BILLY: I want us to be boyfriends.
God, it's worse than I thought.
ME: And...why...do you...feel that way?
BILLY: We've been having sex for quite some time, and I'd like to not feel like a whore about it anymore.
ME: You've been feeling like a whore?
BILLY: Davis, I can't just have a sexual relationship with someone if there isn't some depth to it. There needs to be a commitment. I'm not, you know...?
ME: Me?
BILLY: Exactly.
My first response was to say 'No,' obviously. But then I thought about it.
It's my birthday.
I'm not getting any younger.
Recent events have shown that life can really be way too short.
And I really, really, really like sex with Billy.
He's so young and so inexperienced.
The temptation to be Mickey Rourke to his Kim Bassinger was just too great.
ME: Fine.
BILLY: Fine?
ME: Fantastically fine. We can be boyfriends. Happy birthday to me.
BILLY: Awesome!
There was a knock on the door.
I smiled at Billy, but as soon as my back was turned to him, my face went into instant panic alert, which wasn't good, since Jeremy was there when I opened the door.
JEREMY: Why do you look like you just left a baby on top of a car?
Damn him.
ME: Considering you're lucky to be going tonight--
JEREMY: You're going to stand in judgment of me? Please! With Lolita sitting on your couch?
BILLY: If you recall, you used to be the Humbert Humbert to my Lolita.
ME: Who's Mickey Rourke in that scenario?
JEREMY: Good to know your relationship has evolved into an intellectual kinship.
I ushered Jeremy in and shut the door. I could just hear the nail going into the coffin.
BILLY: Actually--
There it is.
BILLY: Davis and I have decided to become exclusive.
That word is like a slap across the face.
JEREMY: Exclusive?
Slap.
BILLY: That's right. Exclusive.
Slap.
JEREMY: Like EXCLUSIVE exclusive?
ME: YES! Yes! Just like that.
Jeremy looked like someone had shot him. He sat down on the couch. Now I saw my way out. If he objected strongly I'd have to reneg on what I told Billy. I couldn't break my best friend's heart like this, even after all we'd been through over the past few months.
JEREMY: I'm happy for you.
ME: You're--WHAT?
JEREMY: What can I say? You're the two people I care about most in the world. If this is what you want, then great.
BILLY: Wow. I didn't think you'd take it so well.
JEREMY: After everything that's happened, I just don't see how I can say anything.
ME: But if you could say something, what would it be?
JEREMY: Davis, it doesn't matter. It's your birthday. I love you. And I'm proud of you. Usually every year you make out with at least ten guys and bring at least three home.
ME: Yes...Yes, I do.
JEREMY: And now you're only going home with Billy.
Fuck me.
JEREMY: I can't think of any better guy to go home with than him.
I saw Jeremy looking at Billy, and Billy looking back at him, and I could see these two weren't done. All I had to do was get them back together, and that would get Billy away from me.
I just had to think.
VOICE: Hello?
But before I could--
BILLY: Skyler?
Skyler was in the doorway.
SKYLER: Jeremy gave me the address.
ME: Why did you do that?
JEREMY: He's my date.
BILLY and ME: Your what?
JEREMY: To the club tonight. We got to talking when I ran into him at a coffeehouse last week, and I thought it might be nice if he hung out with us.
SKYLER: Unless you'd rather I'd not.
I could see the jealously burning in Billy's eyes. If I could keep stoking that fire, he'd crack and admit that he wanted Jeremy back.
ME: I think it's a great idea.
BILLY: Yeah, super.
JEREMY: Great. Let's get a move on.
Jeremy and Skyler headed out the door, but Billy stopped in the doorway and turned to me.
BILLY: I'm so glad I made an honest man out of you.
ME: I'm so glad to be honest.
In my mind, I was thinking of all the places in Prisms I could sneak off to if I met a cute boy.
Hey, it's not cheating if you know the relationship is on the rocks.
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