Movie Night

Hi, my name is Billy.

B4CHANET: So what are you up to?

I'm kind of...excited.

Knock, knock.

Please don't let it be Jeremy.

JEREMY: Billy, you in there?

Paint me delirious, Pablo.

I open the door to find Jeremy standing there with a movie in his hands.

ME: Yes?
JEREMY: Good to see you're feeling better.
ME: Much better. The chimps really helped.
JEREMY: You mean the gorillas?
ME: Yeah. Them.

He looked over my shoulder at my half-organized sock drawer.

JEREMY: Are you...um...organizing a sock drawer?
ME: Yes.
JEREMY: Why?
ME: Because socks are like people. They're diverse, they're deceptive, and they need to be placed in categories according to how attractive they are and never mingled after that.
JEREMY: Gotcha.

Yes, I have a sock philosophy. Sue me.

ME: I thought maybe we could watch a movie.

He walks towards my computer screen, and I jump in front of it.

JEREMY: Were you looking at porn or something?

That's easier than explaining what's really going on so--

ME: Yes, actually.
JEREMY: Oh...okay. Um...like I said--
ME: You know, tonight really isn't a great night for movie night.
JEREMY: You sure? It's Trick. The most amazing movie ever made.
ME: I'm really more of a Latter Days kind of guy.
JEREMY: Oh my God. Latter Days is for--

He stopped himself.

ME: No, go on.
JEREMY: I was going to say...for...
ME: Closet cases?
JEREMY: Yeah...I guess.
ME: Then I guess it's fitting, isn't it?

I tried to see if I could make my sardonic venom actually drip down to the floor, but I think I missed the mark just a bit.

JEREMY: I didn't mean to...
ME: Yeah, you never mean to. Look, I'll watch the movie if you leave it for me, but I'm kind of busy right now.
JEREMY: Okay.

He went to the door and then stopped and turned around.

JEREMY: I just think you'd like it because it's about two guys who actually, despite stereotypes and preconceived notions and the fact that they're both gay and should only want sex, actually grow to care about each other.
ME: Uh huh.
JEREMY: Plus, there's a really fantastic drag queen.
ME: Wow, terrif. Is there a hot sex scene?
JEREMY: Not really, no.

And he calls this a movie?

ME: I'll check it out later.
JEREMY: Cool. Well, see you around.
ME: Yeah. See you.

He left and I went back to my online convo.

ME: Hey, sorry. That was Jeremy.
B4CHANET: He's so annoying.
ME: I know, right? LOL
B4CHANET: It's cool. Do you want to hang out?
ME: LOL okay.
B4CHANET: Why LOL?
ME: Um...are you?
B4CHANET: I don't like labels.
ME: That's cool.
B4CHANET: Do you want to watch a movie?
ME: Sure. I have one here.
B4CHANET: Oh okay. I was going to bring over Latter Days.

OMG I'm so TORN (Turned On Right Now).

ME: That'd be cool.
B4CHANET: Just make sure you keep this between us, okay?
ME: No problem, Ben.

He logged off. I put my socks away. A half hour later there was a knock on the door.

And movie night commenced.