The Empty Seat

Hi, my name is Bart.

Today was a good day.

JOEY: You're obsessed.
ME: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Joey and I were eating breakfast while I plotted how to get control of the RI-TRI committee. I could tell my boyfriend was getting a little sick of hearing about my plotting against Davis, especially since things had just gotten physical the night before, but I promised once I had achieved a few small goals, everything would be fine.

JOEY: And what are those goals?
ME: Banish Davis to a small island in the South Pacific after ousting him from RI-TRI.
JOEY: Bart--
ME: North Pacific?
JOEY: I'm serious.
ME: Is there even a North Pacific?
JOEY: I want you to give up on this, for me, please. For us. It's turning you into a crazy lunatic. You're fistfighting in hallways--
ME: That was mostly his fault.
JOEY: You're acting like a junior high kid running for Vice-President of his class.
ME: I don't understand.
JOEY: I'm saying you're too ambitious all the time.
ME: No, I get that, but why wouldn't I be running for President?

He took his eggs and went into the kitchen. I was only half-joking, but he didn't even seem nearly half-amused.

Before I could try to smooth things over, my cell phone lit up. It was a call from Liam, one of the RI-TRI members.

ME: Hey Liam, what's up?
LIAM: Bart, hey, I called because, well...You've always been a good friend to me, Bart.
ME: Liam, what's wrong?
LIAM: I'm leaving RI-TRI.
ME: What? Why?
LIAM: Because I'm leaving Rhode Island. I got a job offer in Philadelphia and I'm taking it.
ME: Oh, good for you. We'll be sad to lose you though.
LIAM: You might not be after you find out why Davis is still in office.
ME: What do you mean?
LIAM: Your hunch was right, Bart. Something did happen at that party.

And that was how my day took a turn for the glorious.

DAVIS: So, why are we having this emergency meeting? Did you forget how to use a condom again, Bart?

I had called in all the members of RI-TRI after Liam had made his confession to me.

BART: Actually, I received a phone call from Liam this morning. He's leaving Rhode Island, which means he won't be able to serve on the committee anymore.

There were moans of disappointment all around. If only they knew that before he left, Liam had sung like a queer at a karaoke bar.

BART: So, we have to fill that slot immediately.
DAVIS: Okay, so we'll do a search--
BART: Oh, I don't think we need to do a search. I've found a good candidate for his seat.
DAVIS: Well, maybe in the Magical World of Bart, it's all right for you to just find--
BART: Like how in the Magical World of Davis, orgies are political moves?

There was a dead silence in the room.

BART: I could have you all thrown off this committee for so many reasons, all of which I've looked up, but I won't.
DAVIS: You won't?
BART: I won't if you accept my new candidate. If that happens, I'll never speak of it again.
DAVIS: All right, so who is this new candidate?

I went to the door and brought in the newest member of the RI-TRI committee.

JOEY: Hi everyone.

Davis looked utterly shocked. For some reason, there also seemed to be the glimmer of a smile on his lips, but that just might his way of saying "Well played."

BART: I believe you all know Joey.
DAVIS: We certainly do. All in favor?

Nothing but "Ay"s.

DAVIS: Terrific. Have a seat, Joey.

Joey sat down looking nervous. He had been against this plan, but had agreed to it when I promised it would end all future trouble between Davis and I. Now, I was going to have a majority on the committee when votes arose. Even with Davis two votes, I knew that I could still beat him with the other members no longer being blackmailed by him and Joey's new position.

DAVIS: Well, as long as we're here, why don't we take that vote on Pride regarding age limits to clubs.
BART: Great idea, Davis.

I smiled at Joey as if to say, You see? It'll all be over now.

DAVIS: All in favor of not making the clubs on Pride go twenty-one plus?

Half the committee raised their hands. I could see some were still leaning towards Davis' side, but it wouldn't matter. I had Joey now.

DAVIS: All opposed?

As expected, half raised their hands.

DAVIS: Joey?
JOEY: Yes?
DAVIS: Are you planning on voting?
JOEY: Um...
ME: You have to vote, Joey. You're the tie-breaker.

And at that moment, as I looked at my boyfriend's face, I felt rather guilty.

He kept looking between Davis and me, as if I had just put him in the worst position of his life.