Finding Jeremy

Hi, my name is Eli.

ME: You can thank me later, Hank.

I just saved Hank's life.

Jackson was driving right towards him after pushing him out of a moving car, when I barreled into him sending us right into a snowbank, but out of harm's way.

HANK: If you stained these jeans, I'll kill you.
ME: You were going to die!
HANK: I'd rather die than ruin these jeans.

Jackson had stopped the car and gotten out of it. He was coming towards Hank, but Nathan and Davis intercepted him.

HANK: He's crazy!
JACKSON: Crazy like your fucking mother!
ME: Aren't you two in love?
JACKSON: Please! He struck up a deal with Wilde to get rid of me so he could go back to being the number one catch in town!
HANK: How did you find out?
DAVIS: Wait, that's true? You made a deal with Wilde?
JACKSON: I found out because I read your e-mails, you idiot!
HANK: How did you--
NATHAN: Don't ever check your e-mail in front of someone like Jackson.

Billy whistled. We all turned to look at him.

BILLY: I believe we have a bigger issue here. You know, the kidnapping and all.

A minute later, I was knocking on the door of the apartment.

It opened and a tiny little Brazilian man looked out at me.

TINY EVITA: Hello?
ELI: Hi, my name is Eli. Do you believe in God?
TINY EVITA: I'm not interested.
ELI: Too bad. I was going to tell you to start praying.

Before he could shut the door, Hank and Davis came at it from the side and sent him flying to the ground. The rest of us swarmed the house calling out Jeremy's name.

CARTER: Guys! I found him.

He was in an upstairs bedroom, passed out, looking pretty bad.

BEN: We have to get him to a hospital.
RITCHIE: Maybe we shouldn't move him.
DAVIS: Screw that. Hank, pick him up.

Hank grabbed Jeremy, and tossed him over his shoulder. We made our way back downstairs where Tiny Evita was sitting on the couch crying while Nathan and Jackson interrogated him.

JACKSON: You're in deep shit, Javi.
NATHAN: Or should we say 'The Roofier.'
JAVI: I don't know what you're talking about.
NATHAN: Was this all some sort of scheme as retaliation for us being responsible for Adam's disappearance?
JAVI: You know where Adam is?
NATHAN: STOP PLAYING DUMB!
BILLY: Guys, forget it. We have Jeremy. Let's just go.

Jackson leaned over and looked into Javi's eyes.

JACKSON: I'm going to come back for you.
JAVI: He wanted to come home with me. He begged!

Jackson slapped him across the face.

JACKSON: Now I got what I came for. Let's go.

Hank put Jeremy in the backseat of my car, and I headed for the hospital. They let me take him because I convinced them I was the one who could get there the fastest.

Actually, I had another reason.

ME: How are you feeling, Jeremy?
JEREMY: Ughh...
ME: Mind if I ask you a question?
JEREMY: Soooo out of it.
ME: Yeah, about that. Where are your shoes?

He perked up at that, but then went back to rolling his eyes and looking drugged.

ME: See, your shoes are pretty ugly. They're recognizable. They're the ones that made tracks in the snow, according to Carter.

JAVI: You're pretty cute, you know that?
JEREMY: Thank you.
JAVI: I'm Javi.
JEREMY: Jeremy.

ME: I think you were in a pretty bad way. Your best friend is dating the love of your life. Your brother and you don't get along. And everyone was pissed at you for taking all their best stories and making them your New York party anecdotes.

JAVI: So are you here with anyone?
JEREMY: I guess I'm here with you.
JAVI: Good answer.
JEREMY: Now as to who I'll be going home with...

ME: I think you needed a way to get people to feel sorry for you. And of course, the Roofier was still at large.

JAVI: I'm so drunk. We might need to wait for me to sober up.
JEREMY: Or you could let me drive your car.
JAVI: Aren't you sweet?
JEREMY: Mind if I borrow your shoes though?
JAVI: My shoes?
JEREMY: Mine aren't too good in the snow. As long as I'm carrying you--
JAVI: Deal, cutie.

ME: You did something out of character. You knew Carter would wonder where you went, and if he didn't, Skyler would--
JEREMY: Gotta...call...Skyler...
ME: And you didn't answer your phone or text messages. But you did leave that glass of root beer on the bar. The one some mysterious guy bought you.

JEREMY: Hey Brian, can I have a root beer, please?

ME: And you got us all worried, and now look--all's forgiven. Nobody even remembers that they were mad at you.

Jeremy closed his eyes.

ME: Of course, I can't prove any of this. So there's really no point mentioning it to anyone else, but it would be nice to know that I cracked this little case.

I waited. He didn't move. I was just about to pull into the hospital. That was when I heard a voice from the backseat.

JEREMY: Tell them I was admitted, but that they're releasing me in an hour. I've been given a clean bill of health.

I almost wanted to laugh.

ME: You son-of-a-bitch.
JEREMY: You don't spend a summer in New York without learning a few things.

I guess not.