Now Where Did I Park?

Hi, my name is Ritchie.

BILLY:  Okay, we can talk about it on-air, but only if you promise--

This was going to be it.

The push I finally needed in the ratings to get me to that next level.

That Oprah-Ellen-Springer level that only the truly legendary attain.

Billy and I set out some ground rules, and some albeit unusual conditions, and then I was done for the day and ready to go soak in my kidney-shaped jacuzzi.

On my way to my car in the parking garage, I got the distinct feeling that somebody was following me.

It couldn't be Billy.  I saw him pull away as I was leaving the building.

So who--

I heard footsteps.

I started to run.

My car was on the third level.  If I could just make it there or run into somebody, anybody, I'd be fine.

The footsteps behind me stopped.

I turned around.

Nobody.

I went up a flight, and there was my car.

No scratches, no air let out of the tires.

Fame was making me paranoid.

I hit the "Unlock" button on my keychain.

And that was when the car exploded--

--And I got thrown into the air wondering if anything like this ever happened to Jerry.