Mending Fences

Hi, my name is Joey.

JEREMY: Oh Joey, you're here.

I need to do some damage control.

Ever since Bart took off, and until I find a roommate for my apartment, I've been spending a lot of time at Davis'. At first, I was really mad at him for sleeping with Ritchie, but then I realized I really couldn't be. I mean, he was sort of doing it to keep what we had hidden, which was for my benefit.

Also, Ritchie's a manipulative little jerkface.

My real problem at the moment is patching things up with Jeremy. He's been acting funny around me since Bart showed up at his apartment and told all.

So today, after Davis left for work, I decided to make him breakfast.

ME: Jeremy, how many pancakes do you want?
JEREMY: I'm not really into pancakes, thanks.
ME: I've seen you eat pancakes before.
JEREMY: So, I'm just not into pancakes today thanks.
ME: How about toast?
JEREMY: Nah.
ME: Scrambled eggs?
JEREMY: No thanks.
ME: Poached with hollandais sauce?
JEREMY: I'm just going to make myself some cereal.
ME: I could help.
JEREMY: What are you going to do? Pour the milk?
ME: Can you just please forgive me?

That finally made him look at me.

JEREMY: Forgive you for what?
ME: I don't know. I don't know what I did wrong. I mean, I know what I did wrong but I don't know what I did to you.
JEREMY: Nothing. You didn't do anything to me.
ME: So why have you been treating me like I have the plague?
JEREMY: You're sleeping with Davis. You could have any number of things.
ME: I know you might not like what happened with Bart, but--
JEREMY: Might not like?
ME: Yeah, well--
JEREMY: MIGHT NOT LIKE? Joey, you cheated on someone. Do you understand that? You're a cheater.
ME: I...it's complicated...it's more complicated than--
JEREMY: No, it's really not. You cheated on someone and I don't want to be friends with a cheater. Is that clear enough for you?

He grabbed his murse and moved to the door but I blocked him with my frying pan full of semi-poached/semi-scrambled eggs.

ME: That is not fair. You don't know everything that happened. And you certainly don't seem to be boycotting Davis.
JEREMY: It wasn't Davis' job to make sure guys with boyfriends don't drop their pants for him.
ME: OH PLEASE, JEREMY! Come down off the pulpit for a second. Did you or did you not kiss me--
JEREMY: You kissed me! And I didn't say anything because Ritchie had me thinking you were in love with me or something.
ME: And you believed that?

Oh no...

JEREMY: Why wouldn't I?
ME: Because...I mean...
JEREMY: Oh, because you would never love me. That's right. That would just be foolish. Thinking you would leave Bart for someone like me. No, you'd only do that for a guy whose sexual exploits when listed look like the S section of the Yellow Pages!
ME: Jeremy--
JEREMY: Move the frying pan, Joey! I'm running late.
ME: I love having you as a friend. I don't want to lose you.
JEREMY: Too late.
ME: Why?
JEREMY: Because I go to the mat for my friends, Joey. I defend them no matter what. And yes, with Davis, that's been very difficult, because he is not always the easiest guy to stick up for. But it wasn't his job to go to Bart and say, 'Sorry, this isn't working.' That was all you had to do. Just break it off. And from that point on nobody on any pulpit would have been able to judge you. Instead you acted selfishly and you hurt and humiliated someone who didn't deserve it, and no amount of gay boy 'I did it for love' rationalizing is going to change that.
ME: I never said I loved Davis.
JEREMY: Good, because he sure as hell doesn't love you. You're going to be gone as soon as the next big deal comes along. So I wouldn't spend too much time memorizing where we keep the frying pans.
ME: Now that's--
JEREMY: I have to be able to stand by my friends. To look at what they do and say 'Yes, I support that.' I can't do that with you. I can't be the friend of someone who would do something like what you did. It was the wrong thing, and you don't even feel bad about it.
ME: How do you know that?
JEREMY: Do you feel bad about it?
ME: No!

Wow, I really don't. Does that make me a bad person?

ME: Does that make me a bad person?
JEREMY: You figure it out.

He turned to go, but I blocked him again just as the door opened and Davis came in knocking me forward which ended up spilling all the eggs over Jeremy's shirt.

DAVIS: Whoa!
JEREMY: Ugh! Terrific! Now I'm really going to be late.
ME: Jeremy, I'm sorry.
DAVIS: What's going on?

Jeremy started walking towards his room.

DAVIS: Jeremy, what is it?

He turned.

JEREMY: When I get back from class today--he better not be here. From this point on, your little thing that you two have, isn't going to happen in this apartment.
DAVIS: It's my apartment too.
ME: Davis, don't--
JEREMY: Fine. Then it won't be mine anymore. I'll be out by the end of the month.

Then into the room and--

SLAM

ME: I made breakfast.