They Walk Alike, They Talk Alike

Hi, my name is Jackson.

RANDOM GUY: Aren't you Jeremy?

No, I'm Jackson.

ME: Can I help you?

I had just flown into T.F. Green, and I was a little windswept. I took the bus to D.C., and then turned around and came right back. There was no way I was heading back to Portland to live with the Tonya Harding Grown-Up Doll known as my mother and her psycho husband.

That being said, I didn't know what to do, but I figured I may as well recoup in Rhode Island. I just had to keep clear of my brother.

RANDOM GUY: Um, dude, you totally are.

Which apparently is going to be more difficult than I thought.

ME: We're twins.
RANDOM GUY: For real?
ME: Yes, for real.
RANDOM GUY: Bizarre.
ME: Not really. There are a few identical twins still left in the world.
RANDOM GUY: Like in The Parent Trap?
ME: No, that was just one person playing two people.
RANDOM GUY: I'm confused.
ME: Yes, well, storylines have a tendency to confuse the stupid.

I started walking away figuring my insult would keep him at bay.

RANDOM GUY: Do you know your brother is all over the Wilde Blog?

That stopped me.

ME: What are you talking about?
RANDOM GUY: Here, check it out.

He had the website up on his phone. It was...

"Fashion Disaster Leads Pack of Has-Beens Around Prov"

...not good.

"St. Jeremy was seen around town with Mr. Providence aka Mr. Herpes, John Davis, along with the Jolly Green Giant known as Hank, and Ritchie, who is in serious need of a haircut. Apparently these boys scared off some hotties from Prisms. All who witnessed it equated it to seeing an old man chase some soccer playing kids off his lawn. Can Providence get some new blood without it getting sucked out by these vampiric queens?"

ME: Vampiric is not a word.
RANDOM GUY: Yeah it is. It's, like, an adverb or something.
ME: See if Schoolhouse Rock has a website. You need some schooling in grammar.

I started walking back to the nearest exit. Wilde/Cal had gone too far. Nobody talks about my brother like that, whether or not he hates me at the moment for keeping our mother addicted to pills.

My anger was so overwhelming, I didn't even notice when I bumped right into--

ME: BEN?
BEN: Jeremy, what are you doing here?
ME: Uh...I'm...here to...see you?
BEN: Look, Taylor wants me to go to California with him.
ME: You're--wait--what?
BEN: I know, it's crazy.

Who's Taylor? California? What?

ME: Oh...right. No, it's...cool.
BEN: I don't know how you figured it out, but look...If you tell me that you want me to stay, I'll stay.

Then Ben would go back and tell everyone he saw Jeremy aka Me at the airport, and it would be--

ME: You should go.
BEN: Huh?
ME: I mean, it's a great idea. A new start.
BEN: Sooo, you came here to tell me to go?
ME: I just wanted you to have closure.
BEN: Oh...okay.

I gave him a hug, and started walking away.

Wow, I might have just caused someone to make the biggest mistake of their life.

...or Jeremy did.