Hit the Road

Hi, my name is Hank.

JACKSON: Look what the cat dragged in.
PAIGE: Hank came over! Isn't that fun?
JACKSON: You invited him, Paige?
PAIGE: Yup!
JACKSON: Then I repeat, look what the cat dragged in.

Paige and I were having some quality time, and by quality, I mean drunk.

Now that the things had quieted down a bit, I could get back to my vengeance. Jackson was going to be on the next train out of town.

ME: Paige, why don't you go play in your room?
PAIGE: Hide and seek?
ME: Sure.
JACKSON: Try finding your dignity.
PAIGE: Haha--I'm not laughing at what you said. I'm laughing because you're gaining weight so quickly.

She left the living room.

JACKSON: I'll be going to my room too.
ME: Actually, you'll be leaving town.
JACKSON: Is that the same dream where you and Idina Menzel do scenes from See What I Wanna See?
ME: No, it's the dream where you have to move to Rhode Island because of some deep, dark secret that nobody knows--not even Jeremy.

I saw his smile drop, but he recovered fast. Not that it was going to matter.

JACKSON: Paige wouldn't--
ME: Not normally, maybe. But once I got her drunk--
JACKSON: PAIGE!
PAIGE: SORRY JACKSON! HE MADE ME DO IT!
JACKSON: I'm sure you've heard that one before, Hank.
ME: Guess what happens now?
JACKSON: I bribe you with sex?
ME: Not interested.
JACKSON: So--
ME: You're leaving. Tomorrow. Say your good-byes, and take a hike.

I started walking to the door, but he grabbed me.

JACKSON: Hank, please, I can't go back home. You know what I did.
ME: I don't care where you go, just so long as you don't stay here.
JACKSON: What about compassion?
ME: You tried running me over with a car.
JACKSON: That's water under the bridge!
ME: You're going under the bridge if you're not gone by tomorrow. How does that sound?

I walked out, and in the distance, I thought I heard him crying.

Oh, how sweet it is...