Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Home Stretch

Hi, my name is Jeremy.

HANK:  Aren't you graduating soon?

I'm about to become a college graduate.

ELI:  Good luck with that.

We were all sitting around the Fish Bowl.  The cast list for the musical was about to go up at any second.  I was trying to focus on that rather than the fact that Records refused to sign off on my graduation application until my Bio grade was posted.

BILLY:  How are you doing in Bio anyway?
ME:  About as well Steve-O on Dancing with the Stars.
HANK:  You could always stay another year.
NATHAN:  Yeah, be a Super Senior.
ME:  I'd rather take a Super plunge off a Super bridge.

Eli tapped me on the shoulder.

ELI:  We have a cast list.

Murray walked out of his office, taped the list to the door of the Fish Bowl (avoiding our eye contact the entire time) and then ran away as fast as he could.

HANK:  Let's see who got fucked over this year.

We all walked outside and looked at the list.

ELI:  Ensemble.
BILLY:  Ensemble.
HANK:  Ensemble.
NATHAN:  Ensemble.
ME:  En--wait--where's my name?

I looked up and down, but I couldn't find it.

ME:  Oh my God.
HANK:  Jeremy, there must be a--
BILLY:  That can't be--
NATHAN:  It's probably just a--
ELI:  You're not in the show.

I'm not doing my last show at OSC.

ME:  Give me a second.

I walked into the Fish Bowl, and screamed.

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