Secrets at the IHOP

Hi, my name is Ritchie.

ME: So what did we learn from this?
BILLY: Eli sucks?
HANK: We already knew that.

I picked up Billy downtown at the police station. Luckily for him, Liam's parents decided to back off once they got their little Lolita back home.

BILLY: Eli ratted me out.
ME: Why would he do that? He's just as guilty as you are.
HANK: In terms of being a pedophile.
BILLY: Hey!
HANK: Truth hurts.

We all went to the IHOP for a late-night breakfast. It was a little creepy being in there--the last place that Joey had ever eaten.

WAITRESS: Hi, welcome to the IHOP.
HANK: Paige?
PAIGE: Shut up. I need money.
BILLY: They're not taking anymore applications at the Hooker House?
PAIGE: No, but I hear the Bitch Barn is; you should apply.
ME: Point goes to Paige.

She took our orders and left. Then some girl approached our table.

SOME GIRL: Uh, hey.
HANK: We're not interested.
SOME GIRL: In what?
HANK: Whatever you're selling. It's 2am at the IHOP, honey. You can't be holding anything good.
SOME GIRL: I'm Skyler's friend. I was here the night your friend...
ME: Joey?
SOME GIRL: Skyler told me that he died. I'm really sorry.

She really looked upset. I took her arm, and she sat next to us.

SOME GIRL: I wanted to...I shouldn't say this, but...
ME: What?
SOME GIRL: Skyler had to run outside to smoke. Your friend went to the men's room. I, uh, I saw that guy he was with put something in his drink.
HANK: Eli?
BILLY: RYFKM?
SOME GIRL: Who's RYFKM?
ME: He's being stupid. Never mind. Are you sure you--
SOME GIRL: Yes, positive. He didn't see me, but I totally saw him do it. When I saw what happened with your friend--
BILLY: Thank you for telling us.

My phone rang.

ME: Hello?
NATHAN: Hey Ritchie.
ME: Nathan, what's up?
NATHAN: I'm just out having drinks. You are not going to believe this. I talked to Cal--
ME: RYFKM!
NATHAN: No, for real. He said that either the Roofier or the guy who shot Ben at the pageant--
ME: Wait, wasn't that Cal?
HANK: What about Cal?
ME: Not now!
NATHAN: Apparently, someone's impersonating Cal.
ME: This is so Kimberly on Melrose. Continue.
NATHAN: Anyway, Cal said one of us is either the Roofier or the Shooter.

If Eli put something in Joey's drink...

ME: Nathan, where are you having drinks?
NATHAN: At Slice. With Eli.

Shit.

ME: Listen to me, you need to--
NATHAN: One sec. Eli wants the phone.

That was when the connection went dead.

BILLY: What's going on?
ME: Billy, I think you might have been right about Eli.
HANK: Not another rescue mission.
ME: Get the pancakes to go.

It was time to avenge Joey.