ME: I've called you all here for one reason.
This may be the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.
All the CBQ's were gathered around a table at Paragon. With all the fighting that's been going on lately, it was amazing I could get them all there.
How sad is it that getting my friends together was harder than reuniting NKOTB.
How sad is it that getting my friends together was harder than reuniting NKOTB.
DAVIS: Can we call this little meeting to order?
Ben was still M.I.A., and that's what made me act.
ME: We have to put a stop to this.
RITCHIE: To what?
ME: To the Wilde Blog.
HANK: You mean the Cal Blog?
JEREMY: We still don't know if Cal's writing it.
BILLY: Nathan, what are we supposed to do? We can't find Cal.
CARTER: We can't find Ben.
ELI: Some of us are dating high school students.
Silence.
ELI: ...And...you know, doing stuff...with our lives...
I stood up.
ME: Here's the thing. This website is out of control. It's gone from catty to cruel. We need to do something about it.
DAVIS: Like what? Call the Internet police?
RITCHIE: Leave their Facebook group?
JEREMY: Nathan, this is a valiant effort, but the only thing we can do is to ignore it and hope it goes away.
NATHAN: It's not going to go away! This is war! Wars do not just evaporate!
ELI: Except for the Lauren/Heidi war. That thing just went up in smoke. Sooo disappointing.
When I looked over at Carter, he was staring at his phone.
ME: Carter, could you please try and focus?
CARTER: I'm looking at the Wilde Blog.
ME: Dear God, Carter, we are going to drive ourselves crazy if we check that thing every other minute!
CARTER: Wilde just updated it. It has a photo of us.
BILLY: Great. What is it saying about us now?
CARTER: There's a photo of us eating at Paragon.
HANK: Wait, this is the first time we've all ever eaten here.
CARTER: It looks like the photo was taken a second ago.
ME: Let me see that.
I grabbed the phone and sure enough, there we all were.
The caption read--
'Catty Conspirators? Pick a better headquarters, Power Rangers. You've been shot--with a camera that is..."
ME: This was taken from inside--
I looked around, and saw a guy dash out the front door.
ME: He took that photo!
DAVIS: That means--
JEREMY: Cal!
We all jumped up and ran out the door after him. I hope they didn't think we were running out before paying.
CARTER: Freeeee meal!
Okay, maybe Carter actually was running out without paying.
The wannabe-paparazzi ran down Thayer, but Davis managed to catch up to him. He tackled him right in front of the Avon. I think some of the RISD kids thought we were doing a performance piece.
DAVIS: Well, well, well. Look who it is.
ME: You know him?
HANK: He was at the club the other night.
DAVIS: Shotboy Boy.
RITCHIE: Kind of a redundant name.
ELI: Nobody takes Eli's photo without consulting the publicist.
SHOTBOY BOY: Let me go!
Davis was literally sitting on him. Some boys would pay good money for that.
ME: So you're Wilde, huh?
SHOTBOY BOY: Don't be crazy. I just updated the blog.
BILLY: Yeah, the Wilde Blog.
SHOTBOY BOY: You think there's only one person who writes for that blog?
Oh no...
SHOTBOY BOY: It used to be that way, but a few weeks ago, a bunch of us got e-mails with a code to update the blog on our own. We just had to agree not to reveal that Wilde wasn't doing his own blog anymore. I guess he's moved on to bigger and better things.
HANK: That's why it's been updated so much.
ME: But why have you been attacking all of us?
SHOTBOY BOY: That was what we were told to do! I don't know what you guys did to him, but man, Wilde is out for blood. He gave us all your names and said if we didn't go after you, he'd go after us.
JEREMY: But now you have the codes to the website.
SHOTBOY BOY: He can change them. He does it all the time. We get new passwords every week.
This was horrible. There were probably dozens of little Wildes all over the city just waiting for one of us to do something stupid so they could post it and make us look like idiots.
And let's face it, with our group, that wouldn't be too hard.
DAVIS: I have an idea.
HANK: Someone call Anderson.
DAVIS: This little Shotboy is going to help us get some good publicity.
SHOTBOY BOY: What are you talking about?
DAVIS: When you get this week's password, you're handing it over to us.
SHOTBOY BOY: No way! Wilde will kill me!
BILLY: Do you even know who Wilde is?
SHOTBOY BOY: No, but that doesn't mean he can't get to me!
DAVIS: We're willing to take that chance.
SHOTBOY BOY: You can't make me give you that password!
DAVIS: Do you want to bet?
Davis leaned over and whispered something into the Shotboy's ear. His eyes went wide, and he started to shake.
SHOTBOY BOY: Fine. I'll give it to you.
Davis got up, helped the Shotboy to his feet, and patted him on the back so hard he almost fell over. Then he turned to us and smiled.
DAVIS: Well boys, it looks like we've got ourselves a plan.
I was happy to hear it. I just wasn't sure what the plan was...
Silence.
ELI: ...And...you know, doing stuff...with our lives...
I stood up.
ME: Here's the thing. This website is out of control. It's gone from catty to cruel. We need to do something about it.
DAVIS: Like what? Call the Internet police?
RITCHIE: Leave their Facebook group?
JEREMY: Nathan, this is a valiant effort, but the only thing we can do is to ignore it and hope it goes away.
NATHAN: It's not going to go away! This is war! Wars do not just evaporate!
ELI: Except for the Lauren/Heidi war. That thing just went up in smoke. Sooo disappointing.
When I looked over at Carter, he was staring at his phone.
ME: Carter, could you please try and focus?
CARTER: I'm looking at the Wilde Blog.
ME: Dear God, Carter, we are going to drive ourselves crazy if we check that thing every other minute!
CARTER: Wilde just updated it. It has a photo of us.
BILLY: Great. What is it saying about us now?
CARTER: There's a photo of us eating at Paragon.
HANK: Wait, this is the first time we've all ever eaten here.
CARTER: It looks like the photo was taken a second ago.
ME: Let me see that.
I grabbed the phone and sure enough, there we all were.
The caption read--
'Catty Conspirators? Pick a better headquarters, Power Rangers. You've been shot--with a camera that is..."
ME: This was taken from inside--
I looked around, and saw a guy dash out the front door.
ME: He took that photo!
DAVIS: That means--
JEREMY: Cal!
We all jumped up and ran out the door after him. I hope they didn't think we were running out before paying.
CARTER: Freeeee meal!
Okay, maybe Carter actually was running out without paying.
The wannabe-paparazzi ran down Thayer, but Davis managed to catch up to him. He tackled him right in front of the Avon. I think some of the RISD kids thought we were doing a performance piece.
DAVIS: Well, well, well. Look who it is.
ME: You know him?
HANK: He was at the club the other night.
DAVIS: Shotboy Boy.
RITCHIE: Kind of a redundant name.
ELI: Nobody takes Eli's photo without consulting the publicist.
SHOTBOY BOY: Let me go!
Davis was literally sitting on him. Some boys would pay good money for that.
ME: So you're Wilde, huh?
SHOTBOY BOY: Don't be crazy. I just updated the blog.
BILLY: Yeah, the Wilde Blog.
SHOTBOY BOY: You think there's only one person who writes for that blog?
Oh no...
SHOTBOY BOY: It used to be that way, but a few weeks ago, a bunch of us got e-mails with a code to update the blog on our own. We just had to agree not to reveal that Wilde wasn't doing his own blog anymore. I guess he's moved on to bigger and better things.
HANK: That's why it's been updated so much.
ME: But why have you been attacking all of us?
SHOTBOY BOY: That was what we were told to do! I don't know what you guys did to him, but man, Wilde is out for blood. He gave us all your names and said if we didn't go after you, he'd go after us.
JEREMY: But now you have the codes to the website.
SHOTBOY BOY: He can change them. He does it all the time. We get new passwords every week.
This was horrible. There were probably dozens of little Wildes all over the city just waiting for one of us to do something stupid so they could post it and make us look like idiots.
And let's face it, with our group, that wouldn't be too hard.
DAVIS: I have an idea.
HANK: Someone call Anderson.
DAVIS: This little Shotboy is going to help us get some good publicity.
SHOTBOY BOY: What are you talking about?
DAVIS: When you get this week's password, you're handing it over to us.
SHOTBOY BOY: No way! Wilde will kill me!
BILLY: Do you even know who Wilde is?
SHOTBOY BOY: No, but that doesn't mean he can't get to me!
DAVIS: We're willing to take that chance.
SHOTBOY BOY: You can't make me give you that password!
DAVIS: Do you want to bet?
Davis leaned over and whispered something into the Shotboy's ear. His eyes went wide, and he started to shake.
SHOTBOY BOY: Fine. I'll give it to you.
Davis got up, helped the Shotboy to his feet, and patted him on the back so hard he almost fell over. Then he turned to us and smiled.
DAVIS: Well boys, it looks like we've got ourselves a plan.
I was happy to hear it. I just wasn't sure what the plan was...
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