JEREMY: So is this our reconciliation?
ME: It's an attempt at one.
Jeremy and I met at Prisms. He was feeling depressed because he had dropped Jackson off at the train station earlier that day.
Hank and Ritchie met us there.
HANK: I'm sorry, Jeremy, but I had to do it.
JEREMY: You had to blackmail my brother?
HANK: He crossed me. Never cross me.
RITCHIE: Nobody's judging you, Hank. I blackmailed Ben this week.
JEREMY: You did what?
RITCHIE: He was going to ruin your date with Skyler!
ME: As if that would have been such a grave injustice.
Jeremy put his finger to his lips to get me to shush, just as Skyler appeared with our drinks.
SKYLER: Hey, Davis, I think some guys were talking about you at the bar.
HANK: Probably comparing notes.
I looked over to at where Skyler had been. The boys were indeed talking and motioning towards me.
ME: I've never seen those guys until now.
JEREMY: I think they're the newest Prisms Clique.
RITCHIE: They can't be the new Clique. The old clique is still here.
HANK: Who's the old clique?
RITCHIE, JEREMY, and ME: US!
That was when I heard the boys across the bar burst into laughter.
ME: Are they talking about us?
JEREMY: Davis, please don't cause a scene.
SKYLER: If you wait until I get drunk; I can help you beat them up.
JEREMY: Nobody is beating anybody up.
HANK: Jeremy, I think they're pointing at your haircut.
JEREMY: Let's do this.
We all walked over to the little group trying to usurp us. I could see them start to sweat.
I have that effect on people.
ME: Can we help you boys?
SLUT #1: I doubt it.
RITCHIE: What's that supposed to mean?
SLUT #2: Aren't you John Davis?
ME: Who else would I be?
SLUT #3: You're the CBQ's.
SLUT #4: The Passe Posse.
JEREMY: Excuse me?
SLUT #1: Look, we don't need any sage wisdom. So y'all can take off.
SKYLER: Actually, I could punch them now.
ME: I'll handle this.
I surveyed the four of them. It only took a few seconds.
ME: So what do we have here?
SLUT #1: A bunch of old guys trying to hit on some young blood.
ME: Young blood? You're older than I am.
SLUT #1: Uh...what?
ME: Don't let him fool you, boys. You can put those jeans on a thirty-year-old but it won't make him any younger. Keep using whatever face cream you're dipping in, kitten, it's working just fine, except for around the eyes.
SLUT #2: Hey, that's--
ME: You'll be a shotboy here in about two seconds. At which point, the only people who are going to go within five feet of you are going to be meth addicts and obese trannies.
SLUT #3: How did you know he was going to be a shotboy? He just filled out the application.
SKYLER: There's an application?
I turned to Slut #4.
ME: And finally, our Middle Eastern friend. Do you have anything else to say or should I just call INS and let them know an immigrant is spreading gnono in my home country.
SLUT #4: Let's bounce, guys.
They all turned and walked out the door.
ME: The CBQ's reign.
JEREMY: This is why I miss you when you're gone.
Nobody cheered, but you could tell they wanted to.
I'm still Davis.
No comments:
Post a Comment