ME: This is it.
JACKSON: Famous last words.
I am saying good-bye to my brother.
ME: Jackson--
For what will hopefully be the last time.
JACKSON: Don't say it.
ME: Will you at least tell me why you're leaving?
JACKSON: It's personal.
ME: Is it voluntary too?
JACKSON: I should go.
I had taken him to the train station in Providence. He was supposed to be headed back to Portland, where our mother currently resides with her asshole of a husband.
ME: You actually want to go back there?
JACKSON: Don't be stupid.
ME: Then why are you?
JACKSON: Why are you pretending you're not happy to see me go?
ME: Because I don't want to end things like this.
JACKSON: We're brothers, Jeremy. We're not breaking up.
ME: The last time you left we didn't talk for a year.
JACKSON: Let's see if we can break our record.
He got out of the car and started walking. I parked in the nearest space I could find and went after him.
ME: Jackson!
JACKSON: I gave her pills.
ME: What?
He turned around, and I could see he was upset.
JACKSON: Our mother. I gave her pills.
ME: Wait, when?
JACKSON: Before I left to come here.
ME: For what reason?
JACKSON: I had been giving her pills for over a year.
ME: But Jackson, she's an addict.
JACKSON: And I kept her that way.
I felt like my legs were going to buckle.
ME: But she was doing so well.
JACKSON: She was faking it.
ME: And you helped her?
JACKSON: I gave her what she wanted.
ME: Why would you do that?
JACKSON: Because I needed money, and it was the only way she'd give it to me.
ME: She doesn't have any money.
JACKSON: No, but Christopher does.
Our stepfather--the asshole.
ME: You had her steal Chris' money?
JACKSON: She's his wife. It's not stealing.
ME: He would never give her money if he knew it was for you.
JACKSON: Hence the pills.
ME: That's despicable.
JACKSON: Not so sad to see me go now, are you?
ME: So you're just going to go home and what? Ask for forgiveness?
He laughed.
JACKSON: You think I'm going home? I had to flee. Mom told me that when Chris found out what I'd been doing he told his associates to find me and...
He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't need to.
JACKSON: So I have to go somewhere else?
ME: Where?
JACKSON: I don't know.
ME: Wow.
I didn't know what to say.
JACKSON: Paige told Hank what I'd done. He threatened me. He'd probably call Chris, but if you talk to him--
ME: I'm not talking to anyone.
JACKSON: But--
ME: You're leaving. I don't care where you go. But you're going.
JACKSON: But I'm your brother.
ME: I don't want to see you get hurt. But that doesn't mean I have to deal with you being here. Just leave. Get on the first train out of town. If Chris calls, I'll play dumb. But that's the last favor I'm going to do you.
JACKSON: Jeremy--
ME: Good-bye Jackson.
I walked away, the tears streaming down my face.
It felt like walking away from myself.
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