JEREMY: Are we sure we want to do this?
I'm about to bait the tiger.
ME: You scared?
JEREMY: Antsy, I would say. I wouldn't say scared.
HANK: I'd like to make a note of the fact that I'm scared.
CARTER: Me too.
We were sitting in a studio at a local television station. Davis hooked us up after he hooked up with a local anchor.
Now he and Jeremy were sitting in front of the camera. This message was going to be broadcast directly onto Wilde's Blog.
NATHAN: We're ready to upload.
ELI: Guys, this is seriously crossing a line.
ME: You mean like how they crossed a line when they decided to personally attack us?
DAVIS: And turned the entire town against us?
BILLY: And have you read that blog? They don't even know how to use a semi-colon.
We all looked at Billy.
BILLY: I'm sorry, but that pisses me off. If you don't know how to use a semi-colon, then make it two sentences, okay?
Awwwwwwkward.
NATHAN: Let's go guys.
ME: 5...4...3...2...
And the lights were up.
PAIGE: Welcome to the first and only episode of 'Back Off, Bitch!' I'm your perky host, who happens to be single--
VOICE: PAIGE!
PAIGE: Shove it! And now, here are your hosts--Jeremy and Davis.
We cut to the Dynamic Duo.
JEREMY: Hi.
DAVIS: Hi.
JEREMY: We're your Weather Boys.
DAVIS: And have we got news for you.
JEREMY: And by you, we mean the Wilde Blog readers.
DAVIS: We want to share something with you.
First comes the truth.
JEREMY: The Wilde Blog has officially declared war on us.
DAVIS: Our group of friends.
JEREMY: A group of catty, bitchy queens.
DAVIS: And let's face it, what can we do?
JEREMY: We could throw ourselves on your mercy.
DAVIS: Beg you to not read what Wilde has to say.
JEREMY: But let's be honest, you won't.
DAVIS: If anything, you'll read it more.
JEREMY: So we've come up with another idea.
Then comes the twist.
DAVIS: We're going to open up the circus.
JEREMY: And let you all in the tent.
Get ready, tiger.
DAVIS: At this moment, we have a computer technician here at the television station working to make the Wilde Blog a public site.
JEREMY: You can all access and add content whenever you like.
DAVIS: And by the time Wilde figures out how to change that--
JEREMY: We think all you gays can do a lot of damage.
DAVIS: So go ahead. Snap photos of each other making out in the bathrooms at Prisms.
JEREMY: Blog about who gave who gnono.
DAVIS: Let everybody in Providence know who was getting head in the mall parking lot.
JEREMY: We'd love to take the high road here, but Wilde has blocked it off.
DAVIS: That means instead, we've chosen anarchy.
JEREMY: As of this moment--
DAVIS: And all you musical theater gays will appreciate this.
JEREMY: --City's on fire.
Cut. Print.
Work.
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