Wednesday, April 15, 2009

That's What Friends Are For

Hi, my name is Hank.

JEREMY:  Who's up for a night in?

Aw, I needed a Jeremy slumber party.

Now that we've officially turned the city of Providence upside down by allowing all the gays to post to the Wilde Blog, why not relax a little?

Jeremy came over my house already armed with wine (for me), a cheese platter (for him), and the latest season of Weeds--for both of us.

Once we were three episodes in and all of the wine and most of the cheese was consumed, we started talking.

JEREMY:  Hank, would you say that you have...you know...secrets?
ME:  Secrets?
JEREMY:  Yeah, from me.
ME:  Jeremy, you know everything about me.
JEREMY:  There must be something you haven't told me.
ME:  Well...
JEREMY:  Thought so!

He took the platter off his lap and set it aside.

ME:  But what about you?
JEREMY:  Ohhh nooo, don't change the subject.
ME:  But if there's something you're not telling me--
JEREMY:  Oh, I see what you mean.  Okay.

He took a deep breath.

JEREMY:  Hank...I...I...this is hard.
ME:  Jeremy, I'm here.
JEREMY:  I'm...adopted.
ME:  Really?
JEREMY:  Yes.  And I found it out when my mother needed a blood transfusion.
ME:  Jesus.
JEREMY:  Now, what about you?

I swallowed my reservations, and told Jeremy my darkest secret.

JEREMY:  Oh my God.
ME:  Please just keep that between us.
JEREMY:  Sorry, but I can't do that.
ME:  Why not?
JEREMY:  Because I'm not Jeremy.
ME:  Wait, you--
JEREMY:  I'm Jackson.

Oh no.

JACKSON:  Way to knock back that wine, Stritch.  I'm surprised you being an alcoholic wasn't your secret.
ME:  You can't be.
JACKSON:  But I am.  And now we're going to talk business.

This was going to be bad.

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