The Tie on the Doorknob

Hi, my name is Ritchie.

JOEY'S VOICE: Oh God!!!

Before you tell me that it was insane to run into my roommate's bedroom--and by 'run into' I mean, bust the door down because it was shut and locked--remember that I just found out Adam Setter (a guy with a serious vengeance against Joey) was alive and well after disappearing when Joey pushed him off a building.

Keep all that in mind, when I tell you that I--

JOEY: Ahhh!
ADAM: Ahhh!
ME: Ewww!

--Walked in on my roommate and my former fling, Adam.

ME: What the hell is going on?
ADAM: Ritchie, look, I know you must be angry but you're seeing Carter now--
ME: What? Oh yeah, you, jealously, got it. Not the case. Now please leave.
ADAM: I'll leave if Joey wants me to leave.
ME: Joey?
JOEY: I'm only like a minute away from--
ME: Ooookay! My name is on the lease, so I'm pulling rank. Adam, you're out of here. Joey, I'll meet you in the bathroom where I'll be scrubbing down my corneas.

A few minutes later, Joey met me in the bathroom.

ME: Um, you're still naked.
JOEY: I thought this was important.
ME: Joey!
JOEY: You've seen me naked!
ME: And that seems to be an ever-expanding club.
JOEY: What's the big deal? It was just a hook-up.
ME: DEAD PEOPLE DON'T HOOK UP!

Joey smiled.

JOEY: That's the good news.
ME: What's the good news? They're doing a Buffy reunion?
JOEY: No, I'm telling everyone that I'm alive.
ME: What made you decide this?
JOEY: Well, I really like Adam and--
ME: You're kidding. This is all so you can have a boyfriend?
JOEY: Nooo...

Whenever he stretches it out like that, it means 'Yesss.'

ME: Well, it might interest you to know that the very dangerous club promoter who probably wants to kill you is now alive and dating Carter's ex-boyfriend, Liam. Still want to come out of the zombie closet?

Pause.

JOEY: Yesss...

That means 'No.'

Hopefully that'll be the end of any unexpected company.