Leave It to Ritchie

Hi, my name is Carter.

RITCHIE: Carter! What are you doing home?

My friend Ritchie just betrayed me.

LIAM: It's not what it looks like.

Thank God.

I came home to find Ritchie and Liam half-naked on my couch making out.

RITCHIE: I just came over to give you that sheet music you wanted, and Liam let me in.
LIAM: He's wearing cologne. You know cologne makes me make out with people!

I think this is what they mean when they say blessing in disguise.

ME: Liam, you have to leave.
LIAM: Carter, please--
ME: You're a cheater. I can't live with a cheater.
RITCHIE: Yeah, for him, it's like having another mirror in the house.
ME: Shut up, Ritchie!

Liam put his shirt on and slapped me across the face.

ME: Ow! What was that for? You're the one that was making out with my friend!
LIAM: That's for not being sexually liberated.

He walked out.

I started to giggle.

RITCHIE: How did I do?
ME: Oh my God! So good.
RITCHIE: I can't believe you made me kiss that little moron.
ME: It was the only way I could get him out!
RITCHIE: Now I believe we come to your part of the agreement.
ME: You want to right now?
RITCHIE: Why not? I'm already undressed.

I took off my pants.

Only single for five seconds, and already I was back to sleeping around...

It feels good to be home.