Strange Occurrences

Hi, my name is Ben.

ME: Hello?
VOICE: Well, hello.

I just f**king died.

ME: Eli?
ELI: Straight from Cali, baby.
ME: You shouldn't be calling me.
ELI: Just wanted to hear about all the Providrama.
ME: Then you're out of luck. Everything's great.

I'm trying to seduce the boyfriend of the guy I love while carrying on my second fraudulent relationship with someone I inadvertently put in a wheelchair.

ME: Just great.
ELI: Yeah, well I hate to rain on your parade, but some of your old business is getting mixed up in my new deal, kid.
ME: What are you talking about?
ELI: Does the name Taylor ring a bell?

-- Flashback --

ME: I went to California.
NATHAN: We thought maybe Wilde--
ME: No, nothing like that.
NATHAN: Did something happen there?
ME: It was Taylor...
NATHAN: I knew that guy was bad news.
ME: He's dead.

-- End of Flashback --

ME: What about Taylor?
ELI: Um, he totally hit on me at Blueberry Hill last night.
ME: He--wait, what?

Knock, Knock.

ME: Eli, hang on a sec--
ELI: Don't have it, Ben. I'm heading out with Taylor now. Hope you don't mind me playing your ex-box.
ME: That image is horrifying, but I--

Knock, Knock.

ELI: Lata.
ME: Eli!

He hung up.

Taylor was dead--but then again, Eli was supposed to be too.

Nathan went wheeling by me to the door.

NATHAN: Didn't hear the knocking?
ME: I was on the phone.
NATHAN: With who?
ME: Just--someone from California.
NATHAN: I didn't realize you still had friends there.

Apparently one more than I thought I did.

Jeremy was at the door.

ME: Are you here to give me my script?
JEREMY: They're coming in next week.
ME: You mean you're illegally photocopying them?
JEREMY: Pretty much. I'm here for Nathan's physical therapy.
ME: You two are doing physical therapy?
NATHAN: Yup. Jeremy's been really helpful.
ME: Let me rephrase this--you two are spending time together and not killing each other?

Jeremy put his hands on Nathan's shoulders.

JEREMY: Ben, if I can get along with you. I can get along with anybody.

He and Nathan went into the bedroom while I tried to figure out which was weirder--

Taylor being alive or Jeremy and Nathan becoming friends.