ACTF--Think Again

Hi, my name is Cal.

JUDGE: I think you should consider changing your major.

I'm in shock.

ME: I'm sorry--what did you say?

Jeremy and I had just finished our scene in the first round of the competition, and the judges were...not thrilled.

JUDGE: We felt your partner was fantastic.
JEREMY: Thank you.
JUDGE: But you, Cal, were...less so.

I could punch a baby monkey right now.

ME: I see.
JUDGE: I'm sorry to be so firm. It's just that...some people have it, and some people don't. And if you don't have it, well...

Jeremy tried to make me feel better later when we were eating in the hotel's restaurant.

JEREMY: They don't know what they're talking about.
ME: They called you fantastic.
JEREMY: Well, they were right about that, but the other stuff--

I was determined not to let it get me down. I went out that night to the trashiest bar in town I could find. I even convinced some of the boys to come with me.

HANK: This place is giving me herpes.
ELI: I'm so drunk right now.
ME: You're saying you want to make out?
ELI: Ewww--no. Why do you want to?

The place needed a little spicing up. So I dropped a nickel into the jukebox--how fifties right?--and "Walk Like an Egyptian" came on.

HANK: Cal, what are you doing?
ME: I'm bringing back 'Walk Like an Egyptian.'
ELI: When did it go away?

I pulled the boys up onto the bar with me and instantly the place went nuts. Granted Hank's Egyptian dance looked more like the Ally Sheedy Breakfast Club maneuver, but that's okay.

I got back to my room at around 2am and called Rufus, my ex.

RUFUS: What's up babe?
ME: I'm quitting theater forever.
RUFUS: Cool. Want to have phone sex?
ME: Sure why not?

I needed something to dull the pain.