ACTF--Can't Say No

Hi, my name is Carter.

HANK: What's your tally, whore?

Normally I'd be upset by Hank calling me a whore.

ME: 23.
HANK: Wow, I'm actually surprised.

I've been...bad.

Four of us were eating at the hotel restaurant--Jeremy, Billy, Hank and me.

JEREMY: You've had sex with 23 people this past week?
ME: Not full sex. Not always...
BILLY: Were you really the one who initiated the RIC orgy?
ME: No!
HANK: Were you there?
JEREMY: It was in his room.

I should explain.

That kid Kevin was hanging out in my room, because I was trying to get in his...I wanted to be friends with him. Then he invited some of his friends over. Then he left. But his friends stayed. Then nakedness occurred.

JEREMY: Kudos to Kevin for not falling for your tricks, and I mean that word in every way it could possibly be used.
BILLY: Kevin's just a goodie goodie.
HANK: And you're not?
BILLY: I'm not a prude; I'm just inexperienced!
ME: I woke up this morning and there was only one person there.
JEREMY: Who?

I thought maybe Hank had come back to the room, but then I remembered that he vowed never to sleep within twelve feet of me again after he found me in bed with...never mind.

So I poked the lump next to me.

LUMP: Mmmmm....no.
ME: Excuse me?

The Lump rolled over and it turned out to be that kid Albert.

ME: Wow, this feels weird.
LUMP: Mmmm.....english muffin.
ME: Please don't call me that.

I really need to get that thing...

You know, self-control.