Old Dog, New Tricks

Hi, my name is Davis.

CARTER: Do you have any bottled water?

I am a gigantic idiot.

Part of me kept telling myself--

You're Davis.
This is what you do.

But the other part said--

You're going to lose your best friend and your boyfriend.
At the same time.
Way to go, Champ.

ME: Why do you bottled water? Whores don't drink tap anymore?
CARTER: Easy to call me a whore when I'm lying naked in your bed.
ME: You're right. Super easy. Now get dressed.
CARTER: You're throwing me out?
ME: And everyone calls you dumb--how they underestimate you.

That was when I heard it--

The door unlock and open.

And I remembered--

I gave Jeremy a key to the--

JEREMY: Guess who brought you break--oh my GOD.

He was back out the door again before I could get my pants on.

CARTER: This is bad, huh?
ME: Shut up and go out the window.
CARTER: You don't have a fire escape.
ME: I know.

Jeremy was almost to the elevator before I got to him.

ME: Jeremy, it...well, it is what it looks like. Wow, whose ever said that?
JEREMY: I'm sorry.
ME: What?
JEREMY: I'm sorry.
ME: Tell me you're not apologizing.
JEREMY: Actually I am. I thought dating you was going to make you stop being Davis. But...why would I want to date someone other than you? It's sort of a paradox.
ME: I wish..I wish I was the type of guy who wouldn't do something like this to you.
JEREMY: It's okay. It's helped me make a decision.
ME: What decision?
JEREMY: I'm leaving. Two days.
ME: What? Where?
JEREMY: New York.

The elevator door opened. He stepped in.

JEREMY: Do me a favor. Tell Carter I wouldn't expect anything less from either of you.

And the door--

JEREMY: Goodbye.

Closed.