The Boy Can't Help It

Hi, my name is Carter.

ME: I need to get Ben in bed.

I'm a bad person.

Ritchie and I were lying in his bed after...you know...when I said I wouldn't, but I did...meh...

And for some reason, I wanted to share.

RITCHIE: Carter, telling the boy you just slept with who you want to sleep with isn't really proper pillow talk.
ME: I don't know why I want him.
RITCHIE: Because you can't have him.
ME: Nooo.
RITCHIE: I don't feel like having sex again.
ME: Aw, c'mon!
RITCHIE: See?

Maybe he has a point.

ME: I just want to know that I'm as good as everyone else.
RITCHIE: You don't to sleep with people to prove that. Actually, you'd have to do a lot more.
ME: Hey!

I hit him with the pillow. He pinned me down, but I managed to flip him over.

RITCHIE: Just give up on Ben. He's with Nathan and he's happy.
ME: I bet Nathan's not as good in bed as I am.
RITCHIE: Please, he's a dancer.
ME: I can dance!
RITCHIE: Being able to hit the dance floor with your ass and come back up again isn't necessarily dancing.

He tried kissing me, but I pulled away.

VOICE: Guys, can someone drive me back to Davis'? I'm so wasted.

We both looked down at the end of the bed where Joey had fallen right after we all...

ME: I hope Davis doesn't find out about this.
JOEY: That makes two of us.
RITCHIE: Three!

Joey ran into the bathroom to throw up again, which is super nasty.

RITCHIE: How much do you want to bet you can't get Ben into bed?
ME: I'm not betting.
RITCHIE: How come?
ME: Just because.

Because, I wanted to say, it'd be wrong to bet on a sure thing.