BILLY: Well, the good news is he's not dead.
Apparently, I run Sunshine Cleaners.
CARTER: Can I go now?
ALL: No.
How did I wind up in a hotel room cleaning up after another one of Carter's messes?
Well...
Carter called Billy, who called Davis, who changed his status on Facebook to--
"Davis is helping Carter remove a dead body from a hotel room with Billy."
The "...with Billy" caught Ben's eye, so he had to go, which meant I had to go.
DAVIS: So he's alive?
BILLY: Yup.
ME: So then we don't need to be here?
BEN: Nathan! Be sensitive.
What he really meant was--"I can't leave when I have such a great opportunity to look like a trooper to Billy."
BILLY: Who is he?
CARTER: I don't know.
ME: Shocker.
CARTER: Last night is kind of a blur.
DAVIS: What's the last thing you remember?
CARTER: Jeremy and Joey dropping me off at home.
BEN: So how did you wind up here?
CARTER: I did find a number in my jeans.
He held up a crumpled piece of paper. Davis grabbed it out of his hand and typed it into his blackberry.
CARTER: What are you doing?
DAVIS: If the homo in that hot tub lives within a three state radius, he'll be in this...
Before he could finish, his eyes got wide.
ME: What? What's wrong?
DAVIS: Billy, help me get out of the tub.
BEN: You know him?
Davis ran into the bathroom, and we started hearing "Oh shit...OH SHIT!"
BILLY: What is it?
Davis came back out again.
DAVIS: Carter, what did you do?
CARTER: Davis, you're scaring me.
DAVIS: You should be scared!
He hit the wall with a closed fist.
ME: Careful! This is probably a rented room!
Davis walked up to Carter and grabbed him by the shirt. We all tried to get him off Carter, but he was like a man possessed.
CARTER: Let meeee go!
DAVIS: WHAT DID YOU DO?
He let him go, and Carter fell back on the bed along with all of us. Davis just stood over all of us looking down and shaking his head.
DAVIS: Inside that hot tub is the only man in New England with more sway than me.
BILLY: Who's that?
DAVIS: Adam Setter.
CARTER: The promoter?
BEN: Oh shit.
DAVIS: You have fucked the rhino on this one, Carter.
ME: So what do you do?
Davis grabbed Billy's hand and helped him off the bed.
DAVIS: Billy and I are leaving. I suggest the rest of you do the same. Carter, anything in this room that can be traced back to you has to be erased or thrown out in the trash can downstairs, you got that?
CARTER: Eeeee...
DAVIS: SNAP OUT OF IT! START CLEANING!
That was when I grabbed Ben and dragged him out of the room.
BEN: What are you doing? I didn't even get to say good-bye to Billy!
ME: Boo hoo! I'm not hanging around a crime scene so that you can flirt with your crush!
BEN: Don't forget. We have a deal.
ME: How could I forget?
We got into the elevator.
ME: Ben, this plan isn't going to work.
BEN: What are you talking about? It's already worked.
ME: Huh?
Ben turned to me and smiled.
ME: What happened?
BEN: It's more what's going to happen. At that little banquet for Davis.
ME: We're going?
BEN: You bet we are. That's where you're going to break up with me.
That nearly made me want to climb into the hot tub with Adam.
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