It Wouldn't Be the Same Without...

Hi, my name is Ritchie.

KATE: This is going to be ratings gold.

It never occurred to me that one day I'd be the biggest story on my own show.

KATE: The camera's hooked up right underneath--
DAVIS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not going into Prisms with a camera.
ME: Of course I am. I'm a journalist.
HANK: Please, you're morning fluff. You're what people watch when Kelly Ripa takes a sick day.
ME: I hope you get shot first.
DAVIS: Nobody is getting shot, because none of us are going in there. This is insane. We don't negotiate with terrorists.
VOICE: You got a better idea?

We turned around to see Jeremy approaching with Adam and--

ME: Billy?
BILLY: We have to do whatever we can. If the crazy person wants to reunite the CBQ's then that's what he's going to get.

Ben and Joey pulled up a few minutes later with a guy named Ken who Joey said was his second husband--whatever that means.

HANK: Okay, so the gang's all here.
JEREMY: Once Nathan comes back, we'll use one of the bullhorns and tell the gunman that we're coming inside.
ADAM: What does he want to have us do? Act out scenes from that stupid book of yours?
JEREMY: Hey!
BEN: You know, Jeremy, if you'd just--
JEREMY: I don't want to hear it! It was my right to write a book. Just like it was my right to leave here and never come back. I wasn't aware I was going to get dragged back here by more Rhode Island theatrics?
ME: Rhode Island theatrics? Wow, where did you move to? Douchebag Junction?
JEREMY: Ritchie--
ME: Don't flatter yourself by thinking that any of us missed you. And don't talk about getting dragged back here either. You're the one who wants to save your brother. He's an even bigger asshole than you are, if that's possible. While you were gone--
BEN: Let's not get into it.
JEREMY: No, please. Get into it! I'm sure Jackson's done a lot of bad while I've been gone, but I doubt you all have been saints either. Aside from Billy, of course, who's turned into celibate heterosexual.
HANK: What?
BILLY: I knew I shouldn't have come.
ME: NOBODY IS GOING ANYWHERE!

I grabbed the camera from my cameraman, and turned it off.

ME: I'm about to say something I never say--This conversation is off the record. Now look, I don't give a damn about Jackson or any of you, but I want this story. So we're going to go in there, we're going to give this lunatic whatever he wants, we're going to save the day, and then you're all going to do a riveting interview with me, because we're the CBQ's, and as much as we all might hate each other, we are--like it or not--connected. We have always been connected, and we always will be, and it sucks that it took somebody pointing a gun at one of us for everybody to realize that. Now, give me a damn bullhorn so I can let the crazed psychopath know his wish is about to come true.

VOICE: Not so fast.

Nathan.

Great, I thought, the reunion is complete.

NATHAN: We're missing somebody.
JOEY: What?
DAVIS: No, we're not. There's ten of us. There's always ten.
NATHAN: Remember all the names he listed?
JEREMY: The fake names from my book. There were--
NATHAN: Eleven. He listed eleven names.
BEN: But who--
HANK: Oh no.
BILLY: You mean--

F#$k.

RITCHIE: Eli.

We forgot about Eli.