The Hippo Speaks

Hi, my name is Adam.

ME: Why couldn't we have gone and gotten Joey?
JEREMY: Because if Joey opened the door and saw you after all this time, he might drop dead, and we need him alive.
ME: I didn't hear the gunman stipulate that.

Ben and Nathan went to get Joey, while Jeremy and I were put in charge of getting Billy.

ME: You just wanted to get Billy so you could see if he really turned straight.
JEREMY: That's not true.
ME: Okay, but what if he is straight? What'll you do?
JEREMY: That's like asking me what I'd do if a hippopotamus told me it was a giraffe.
ME: I think the hippo talking would be the bigger issue.

The door opened to reveal a boy in a pink tank top.

JEREMY: Oh thank goodness.
FLAMBO: Hi there!
JEREMY: You must be Billy's boyfriend.
FLAMBO: Billy's boyfriend? Hahaha that's a good one.
JEREMY: Why is that a good one?
FLAMBO: Because he's dating my sister.
JEREMY: Ohhh boy.

Just then, Billy appeared in the doorway.

BILLY: Who is--whoa.
ME: And the hippo speaks.
JEREMY: Hi Billy.
FLAMBO: You know these guys?
VOICE: Billy, we're going to be late picking Mom up at the airport!
JEREMY: We're, uh, old friends from--
ME: Jesus Camp.

Everybody looked at me.

ME: Shalom.

That's right, right?