The Changed Man

Hi, my name is Billy.

ME: I'm so happy you've reached this decision.

I help people.

CHRISTOPHER: I'm still a little unsure.
ME: Christopher, it's totally normal to feel weird about making the right decision when you've been making wrong ones for so long.

That's straight from the pamphlet they give us.

Christopher is the only guy I'm counseling right now, and this was going to be our last full meeting.

To celebrate, I took him to TGIFriday's.

Who can be unhappy about a life choice at TGIFriday's?

CHRISTOPHER: It's just strange for me, because...
ME: Because?
CHRISTOPHER: Well, you've been giving me all this help.
ME: Yes?
CHRISTOPHER: And, you're kind of the reason I'm making this decision--
ME: Christopher...
CHRISTOPHER: And, like, my parents, obviously, and other stuff--
ME: Chris--
CHRISTOPHER: Right, and me. Definitely. But...

Uh oh.

CHRISTOPHER: It's just strange because I sort of think I love you.

I've counseled lots of guys.

This is not the first time something like this has happened.

As a matter of fact, I wrote the section in the pamphlet about what to do if this happens.

ME: Christopher, let's remember all the hard work you've done to--

That was when I looked at the television over the bar and saw it.

Breaking News.

Shooting at Prisms. Hostages Taken.

CHRISTOPHER: Billy?
ME: Oh, uh, sorry.
CHRISTOPHER: Look, I just don't think I'm really interested in girls.

It took me a second, but then I remembered to switch back to professional mode. What were the odds that I would still know anybody at Prisms after all these years?

Back to the task at hand.

ME: Christopher, trust me. I felt the same way when I first corrected my inner desires. And now, I'm a changed man. I even have a girlfriend.
CHRISTOPHER: Really?
ME: Yes, and as a matter of fact, I plan on proposing to her tonight.

I could see that he was disappointed, but he'll adjust.

We all do.