Joey's Party

Hi, my name is Joey.

ME: Welcome to our abodee.
HANK: It's pronounced abo-ohd.
ME: Liquor's on the table.
HANK: You should have opened with that.

This is my housewarming party.

Adam and I moved in together a few weeks ago, but we haven't had a chance to get everybody together until now.

Plus, parties with the CBQ's don't usually go over that well.

ADAM: So Davis, how are you liking married life?
DAVIS: Well considering we don't sleep together, it feels exactly like what I thought married life would be.
HANK: Ain't he sweet? He's getting me a wad of cash for our one month anniversary or else I'm letting him die from bad healthcare.
JACKSON: I think my mother said the same thing to my father when they got married.

Okay, so it's not your typical dinner party conversation, but at least nobody had gotten stabbed yet.

BEN: Ouch!
JEREMY: Sorry. The knife just slipped.
ADAM: I've never met someone so accident-prone who doesn't drink.
HANK: Ohhh, he drinks now.

Silence.

It was like we'd all just heard that Santa likes women.

ME: Jeremy, you drink?
JEREMY: Just a little. Here and there.
HANK: And now.
JEREMY: Shut up, Hank.
DAVIS: Are you drunk?
JEREMY: I just had a few--
DAVIS: A few what? Cans of kerosene?

Suddenly everybody was going crazy. It wasn't the first time we've all flipped out over a drunk person, but usually it's not Jeremy.

JEREMY: Guys, I don't feel good.

That was when he threw up on the couch.

BEN: Whoa.

And passed out on the carpet.

ME: Okay, so who's cleaning--

Everybody rushed out. I managed to grab Adam as he ran for the door.

ME: You live here, remember?
ADAM: Okay, but after this, I'm going to need a drink.

I second that.