Paige

Hi, my name is Hank.

JACKSON: Did somebody order a douchebag and not tell me?
ME: Very funny.

I showed up at Jeremy and Jackson's apartment unexpectedly in hopes of being there for the unexpected arrival of someone I phoned a few days ago.

JEREMY: Hey Hank, come on in.
ME: I really can't stay, Jeremy. I'm just here to meet someone.
JACKSON: Who?

That was when the elevator doors opened.

ME: Her.

Jeremy and Jackson gasped at the same time.

PAIGE: I'M HERE!!!

She ran right into Jackson, sending him flying to the floor. Paige isn't exactly what I expected. She's a cute blonde with big--well, you can imagine. Wilde told me I had to get Jackson out of town, and from what I've gathered, Paige might be the only one who can make him run in another direction.

JEREMY: PAIGE! What are you doing here?

Before she answered, she ran right into Jeremy. Then said--in one breath--

PAIGE: Oh my God! Your friend Hank called me and told me that you were cheated on and kidnapped and that Jackson fell through the floor and was being a total bitch which I completely believe because c'mon, he's Jackson. So I told Mom I had to come check out colleges in Rhode Island, which I still might do, but mainly I just want to hang with my two older brothers and meet all your friends, because I love gay guys, and oh my gosh, can I go to a gay club? Can you get me in one? That would be amazing. Where am I sleeping? On the couch? Can't I have one of your beds? I mean, I'm a girl. Let's be chivalrous, right?

She started walking towards Jackson's bedroom.

JACKSON: You called her?
ME: You can thank me later.

Paige stopped in the doorway and turned around.

PAIGE: God, you guys sooo need a girl around here to keep you in line.
JEREMY: Paige, you know we're glad to see you but--
PAIGE: Let's not bullshit, okay? It doesn't really matter if you're happy to see me. I'm here. I'm staying. So get ready to party. Love you!

She walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

ME: She seems like a delight.

Jeremy and Jackson shot daggers through my heart.

The feeling made me giggle.