How to Catch a Blogger

Hi, my name is Nathan.

You've invited...

I'm about to catch Wilde a.k.a. Cal a.k.a. the Guy who Shot Up the Mr. Providence Pageant a.k.a. the Recently Murdered Queen Who's Been Making Life a Living Hell.

We'll just call him Wilde.

...to the Hottest V.I.P. party in town. The theme?

Here's the bait.

We Hate Wilde.

There is not a gay man in the world who wouldn't show up at a party thrown in his dishonor. Ritchie, Jackson, and the newest member of the Catch Wilde Club--Ben, were all in attendance.

We talked Davis into talking to the owner of Slice. He let us have the V.I.P. room one rainy Monday night, and we told him that if anyone showed up asking for the "Special Event" to send him straight into the V.I.P. room where we could pounce on him.

RITCHIE: Now how do we know the invitation got to Wilde?
JACKSON: I forwarded it to him. I made it seem like I was looking for brownie points.
BEN: If he finds out what we're doing--
ME: It won't matter because he faked his own death.
BEN: Are you guys really sure that Cal is Wilde?
JACKSON: These two are. I just jumped onboard because Wilde screwed me by playing Hank and me against each other.
RITCHIE: Cal is Wilde. He knew things that only Wilde could know.
ME: Besides, it makes sense. Cal was always a troublemaker.
BEN: But Wilde was around long before any of us knew Cal.
JACKSON: He could have just been lurking in the wings.
RITCHIE: Yeah, think less 90210 and more One Tree Hill.

There was a knock on the door. Crank, the bartender--not his really name, which I believe is Petie--poked his head in the room.

CRANK: Hey guys, the owner left so I'm in charge of your party.
ME: Thanks Crank.
CRANK: By the way, someone just showed up a couple of minutes ago and left.
JACKSON: What?!
BEN: Why did he leave?
CRANK: He asked me how many people were here and I told him.
RITCHIE: Why did you do that?! Once he heard there were only four of us he probably figured out that it was a trap!
CRANK: Sorry man. I didn't realize you were trapping someone. You can probably still catch him if you--

Ben was already out the door. Ever since he got out of the hospital, he's been more anxious about finding the person who shot him--especially since that person could also be responsible for Joey's death.

We all ran out after him into the rain, but there was no sign of him.

I went back inside and talked to Crank.

ME: What did this guy look like?
CRANK: Kind of like that guy that was dating Davis for awhile.
ME: You're going to have to be more specific. That could apply to half the town.
CRANK: The young one with the fancy socks who always orders root beer.
VOICE: Billy?

I turned around to see Ben standing soaking wet in the doorway. We hadn't told him that Cal had been texting Joey warning him about Billy, because there didn't seem to be any reason for it. We just figured Cal was trying to confuse people. Now maybe there was more to it than that.

BEN: So Billy is Wilde?

Jackson and Ritchie walked back into the club looking terror-stricken.

ME: What's wrong?
RITCHIE: I just got a text from Hank. Wilde just did a Twitter update.
ME: Just now?
JACKSON: It's a pretty succinct update.

Ritchie got on his Blackberry and showed me.

"Wilde is...hoping you all steer clear of Jackson, Ritchie, Nathan and Ben. Apparently they've all been playing dirty, and now they've got full-blown--"

ME: HERPES?
JACKSON: That bitch has crossed the line.
RITCHIE: Did he have to pick something incurable?
BEN: I'm going to talk to Billy.

I told Jackson and Ritchie what Crank said.

RITCHIE: That doesn't make any sense.
BEN: NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE!
JACKSON: I'm with Ben. Let's go talk to Billy. You two should have done that a lot sooner.
RITCHIE: Hey don't criticize us. We're not Nick and Nora.
JACKSON: Who?
ME: Look, let's not all turn on each other. We need to sit down and figure out--
BEN: Enough. I'm going to Billy's. Anyone coming with me?
JACKSON: I'm in.
RITCHIE: Me too.
ME: Ritchie!
RITCHIE: Someone has to stop them from killing him!

So the mob headed over to Billy's.