Off-Limits

Hi, my name is Davis.

Knock, Knock.

I've begun to hate answering my door.

JEREMY: Hey.
ME: Oh, hey.
JEREMY: We need to talk.
ME: If by talk you mean hit--
JEREMY: I'm not here to punch you, Davis.
ME: Okay, then come in, not that I'm scared of your right hook.
JEREMY: Is that like Captain Hook?
ME: Exactly.

Jeremy came in and sat down on my couch. It had been a few days since the banquet. His friend Ray had disappeared, and Billy told me it was on account of Jackson. I was wondering if a bargain had been struck.

JEREMY: I don't like it when we fight.
ME: Neither do I.
JEREMY: You're my best friend.
ME: For awhile, I was even more.
JEREMY: But that was a mistake. Not as big of a mistake as you screwing my brother, but--

I sat down next to him.

ME: Look, what I did was really stupid. I have no excuse. I'm just a giant asshole who does asshole things and lives in a world of assholes riding asshole cars living in asshole villages where they make asshole goat milk.
JEREMY: That's a really awful image.
ME: Sorry.
JEREMY: Davis, I know you have trouble staying away from sketchy hookup drama, but the thing is, even you have to have boundaries. There have to be some things--or people--that are off-limits.
ME: Agreed.
JEREMY: Promise me no more Jackson.
ME: I promise. It's over.
JEREMY: Good.
ME: Anybody else I should avoid?
JEREMY: No, just Jackson. Oh, and Billy, but that probably goes without saying.
ME: Oh...yeah. Of course.

That's what I was afraid of...

JEREMY: So we're okay now?
ME: Yeah, we're great.

He gave me a big hug.

ME: Oh Jackson, mmmm...

He reared back and punched me in the arm.

JEREMY: Aren't you going to say 'ow'?
ME: Isn't it supposed to hurt when you punch me?
JEREMY: Aw, back to old times.

We talked for a little while longer, then Jeremy had to go. He was helping his new roommate move in with him.

ME: Who's the new roomie? Is he cute?
JEREMY: He's off-limits.
ME: I thought only Jackson and Billy were off-limits.
JEREMY: Exactly.
ME: Oh--wait, what?

But he was already gone.

My phone rang a few minutes later, and I almost stopped myself from picking up. I could feel the snowball racing down the hill and picking up size along the way.

BILLY: Hey Mr. Davis.
ME: Hey.
BILLY: Are we still going out tonight?
ME: I don't know, kid. I feel a little--
BILLY: C'mon! It's Superhero Night! I'm already wearing my Robin outfit. You have to be Batman!

Billy in the Boy Wonder costume...

DANGER, JOHN DAVIS, DANGER!

BILLY: Do I have to beg?
ME: NO! No, don't beg. I'll go. It'll be fun.
BILLY: Awesome. Pick you up at ten.
ME: Do you want me to drive?
BILLY: If you drive then you can't drink.
ME: That might be better.
BILLY: Don't be ridiculous. I'll see you in an hour.

He hung up.

I know that this could mean my friendship with Jeremy, and I've already jeopardized it enough times, but...

I'm Batman.