Jumping the Shark

Hi, my name is Billy.

DAVIS: Well that was...
ME: Yeah.
DAVIS: Whoa.
ME: Yeah.
DAVIS: Are you--?
ME: I'm fine.

I'm so more than fine.

I just slept with John Davis.

I...just...slept...with JOHN DAVIS!

DAVIS: So do you--
ME: WE JUST HAD SEX!
DAVIS: Uh...yes we did.
ME: I was just...saying.

We were both lying on his couch--we never made it to his bed--covered by nothing but our coats and a copy of Details magazine.

DAVIS: Not a bad way to wait out a storm.
ME: There's a storm?
DAVIS: Billy--
ME: I'm sorry. I'm not even sure where I am right now.
DAVIS: Now I know how Ben is in bed.
ME: Hahaha--it's like the difference between aged Gouda and Velveeta.
DAVIS: Wow, thank you. I've never been called Gouda before.

He smiled and kissed me on the lips. My whole body was tingling. I was about to suggest we go for another round when my cell phone rang.

I was going to ignore it, but I was a little worried about everyone still out in the storm.

ME: It's Nathan.
DAVIS: Answer it. Just try not to sound like you just got done doing what we were doing.
ME: No problem.

I answered.

NATHAN'S VOICE: Hello?
ME: HEY!

Davis covered my mouth, glared at me, and then took his hand away.

NATHAN: Uh...Billy?
ME: Sorry, hey. I'm here. Hanging out. Just hanging.
NATHAN: Great. You need to get to Jeremy's apartment.
ME: Why?
NATHAN: Jeremy and Ben are trapped in the elevator.
ME: How long have they been trapped?
DAVIS: Trapped? Who's trapped?
ME: Jeremy and Ben.
NATHAN: Oh, also, I scaled a building and pushed that guy Adam off the top of Prisms into a river in order to stop him from killing Carter.
ME: Oh...uh...okay.
DAVIS: What did he say?
ME: He jumped the shark.
DAVIS: Gotcha.

Davis and I got dressed and drove to Jeremy's building. The flooding was starting to subside, but it still took us a good half hour to get there.

Jackson, Hank, Nathan, and Carter were already there in the lobby with some electricians.

JACKSON: Look who decided to show up.
ME: Why are you covered in dust?
HANK: He jumped over some active electrical wires, I caught him, and we both fell through the floor into an old lady's apartment.
DAVIS: So you jumped the shark?
HANK: Pretty much.

I was hoping nobody would ask what Davis and I had been doing all night.

NATHAN: Has anybody talked to Jeremy and Ben?
JACKSON: I don't think their cell phones are getting any service.
CARTER: Is there a phone in the elevator?
HANK: The electricians said it was out of order.
DAVIS: How long have they been trapped in there?
JACKSON: Most of the night.
CARTER: Oh my God. What if one of them ate the other?
HANK: They're both twinks. It'd be like eating a hundred calorie pack.

Finally, the electricians managed to get the elevator working, and a minute later the door opened.

Jeremy and Ben were sitting on opposite sides of the elevator looking like they'd just been through war.

DAVIS: Jeremy, are you okay?

Jeremy stood up, helped Ben up, and the two of them walked out of the elevator. Then Jeremy looked at me, then at Davis, and said--

JEREMY: You slept together.
DAVIS: What?
JEREMY: You two slept together!
JACKSON: They did what?
DAVIS: How did you know that?
JEREMY: It's written all over their faces!
ME: Oh my God.
CARTER: Actually, I think he's right.
DAVIS: Yes, he's right, we did. I'm sorry, but you asked me not to, so what did you think I was going to do?
JEREMY: I don't believe this! First my brother, now Billy--
JACKSON: God, I'm in such bad company.
NATHAN: Guys, we have bigger issues at hand. We still haven't heard from Joey and Eli.
BEN: FUCK JOEY AND ELI!

Everyone turned and looked at Ben.

BEN: I'm tired. My hair gel has crusted over into a shellacked monstrosity. And I considered eating my lip balm just a few minutes ago. I'm going home, and you can all have your catty little fight without me.

With that, Ben walked out of the lobby.

Jeremy turned and looked at me.

JEREMY: Don't ever speak to me again.

And I said--

ME: Done.

And it was done.

Jeremy walked out, the boys went looking for Joey and Eli, and Davis stayed behind with me. He put his arm around me, and we walked back to his car.

It felt good, and scary, and upsetting, and exhilarating.

I felt like my life had just jumped the shark.

So where do we go from here?