The Punch

Hi, my name is Ben.

JEREMY: Are you here to torment me?
ME: Are we still pretending we didn't make out in the elevator?
JEREMY: Just come in, please.

I went to Jeremy's apartment. I'd been worried about him since the debacle at Joey's memorial. Everyone had been giving him a hard time, and before the incident during the storm, I would have gladly joined in with everyone else.

But now...

ME: Where's Jackson?
JEREMY: At Hank's.
ME: They're still...?
JEREMY: Yup.
ME: And you're still...?
JEREMY: Creeped out by it? Yes. My brother has hooked up with everyone but you at this point.
ME: I've still got time.

He hit me in the shoulder.

ME: I was kidding.
JEREMY: Just because he's not here doesn't mean I want to talk about the elevator thing.
ME: Can you believe we have something between us called the elevator thing?
JEREMY: There is nothing between us, Ben, except mutual hatred.
ME: Yeahhh, I don't buy that.
JEREMY: Why not?
ME: That make-out session was amazing.
JEREMY: We were stuck in an elevator we thought was going to plummet thereby sending us to our deaths. It's fair to say we weren't thinking straight.
ME: We definitely weren't thinking straight.

It was only then that I noticed Jeremy was wearing a muscle shirt and gym shorts.

ME: What were you doing in here?
JEREMY: Did you not notice the punching bag?

It was then that I noticed the punching bag.

ME: You box?
JEREMY: No, Laurie, I do not. Boxing implies technique. I just punch this thing when I want to blow off steam.

He hit the bag a few times.

ME: I know everyone's been giving you a hard time, but--
JEREMY: I don't care. They'll get over it. Davis and Billy already have.
ME: That's funny. Are they over themselves yet?
JEREMY: No. As a matter of fact, they're now officially boyfriends.
ME: Are you kidding me?

I knew Davis and Billy had been shacking up, and truth be told, I still wasn't over Billy enough to be okay with that, but I never thought it would get to this level.

For one thing, Davis hates commitment.

ME: They told you about this themselves?
JEREMY: Yes, and I gave them my blessing because we're all mature adults who make mature decisions, and then we all went out to a club and everybody got shitfaced.
ME: We all?
JEREMY: The three of us, plus Ritchie, plus Eli, plus Carter--he was working--
ME: Hookering?
JEREMY: Shotboying.
ME: Same difference. Go on.
JEREMY: Hank, Nathan, Jackson, and Skyler.
ME: Skyler? The community theater guy?
JEREMY: Yup.
ME: Why was he there?
JEREMY: Because I invited him.
ME: I'm sorry. Do you LIKE him?
JEREMY: Yes, I do.

I noticed Jeremy's punching was getting more intense.

ME: Bullshit.
JEREMY: I do! He's nice to me. It's a great change of pace.
ME: Fine, so like him.
JEREMY: I will.
ME: Even though you like me more.

He stopped punching.

JEREMY: Excuse me?
ME: You know you do.
JEREMY: I loathe you.
ME: You want me.
JEREMY: You repulse me.
ME: I drive you crazy.
JEREMY: By refusing to throw yourself off a bridge? Yes. We're agreed on that.

I walked around the punching bag, and looked him in the eye.

ME: I know you're still in love with Billy. I might be too. Maybe we can help each other.
JEREMY: I'm not in love with Billy anymore.
ME: I tell myself the same thing.

Jeremy started to punch again. I had to dodge a bit to avoid getting hit.

ME: How long is Jackson gone for?
JEREMY: All night. He stays at Hank's now.
ME: So let's do it.
JEREMY: Do what?
ME: See what this is.
JEREMY: This isn't anything, Ben. It's nothing.
ME: At worst, it'll be hate sex, and it'll probably still be the best sex of your life.
JEREMY: Please. You're hairy, you have droopy eyes, and you make weird jaw movements from time to time. At best, it would be sex with Bigfoot.

I grabbed him and pulled him into me.

JEREMY: Ben, stop.
ME: C'mon, just relax.
JEREMY: Ben, I'm warning you.
ME: Just go with it.
JEREMY: Ben--

There was a knock on the door, and Jeremy jerked sideways, sending his arm flying up, and socking me right in the face.

I fell to the ground, and felt blood come pouring out of my nose.

JEREMY: I TOLD YOU!
ME: Who the hell is that?
JEREMY: I don't know! Hang on.
ME: Does it look like I'm going anywhere?

He left, and then came back with--yup--Skyler.

SKYLER: Hey, sorry. I thought I would surprise you.
ME: Oh, it was a surprise.
SKYLER: Were you guys fighting?
JEREMY: Yes, but now everything's fine.
ME: Except my nose.
JEREMY: Well it can't get any more crooked. Maybe it's straight now. That'll be three hundred dollars.

Skyler went to the kitchen and came with paper towels.

ME: How nice to meet a gentleman.
JEREMY: Ben, you should go.
SKYLER: Yeah, otherwise he might break your arm.
JEREMY: Hahaha--yeah, but I might. No joke.
ME: Fine.

I stood up, still holding the paper towel to my nose.

ME: But can I just tell you something, Jeremy?
JEREMY: Skyler, can you--?
SKYLER: I'll look for something else in the kitchen that can absorb blood.

He left and I looked at Jeremy. Still undaunted.

ME: I could get him, you know.
JEREMY: In your dreams.
ME: I got Billy.
JEREMY: Billy was a kid.
ME: So you were a pedophile?
JEREMY: I wanted to protect him from you.
ME: So you have a savior complex?
JEREMY: Get out.
ME: You don't need to save me.
JEREMY: No, but somebody should.
ME: I could get Skyler, then leave him, and you'd be free again.
JEREMY: I'd really punch you then, and hard.

I walked up to him so that our eyes were just inches apart.

ME: Free to be with me.
JEREMY: You know, I kind of like the smell of your bood.
ME: Kinky.
JEREMY: I might want more. So leave.
ME: Fine.

I walked away, yelling behind me--

ME: Kiss, kiss.

And started thinking of how to win a boy like Skyler.