The Revenge of James Caan

Hi, my name is Davis.

HANK: Do you want another pillow?
ME: Mememememememe...
HANK: The doctors said it was going to take a little while for you to get your bearings. I'm going to go make you some soup. You're not mad at me for giving you placebos, are you? I'm going to start going to whatever place you go to when you're addicted to pills. We can go through recovery together, won't that be fun?
ME: Mememememememe...
HANK: Exactly.

As soon as that dickhead left the room, I rolled myself out of bed and into my wheelchair.

Since Davis is my husband, and since I use his Healthcare, I can't kill him.

But I can give him something better.

I rolled into the closet across from the bathroom and started screaming.

As soon as Hank came running, I rammed into him using my wheelchair, shoving him into the bathroom. Before he could get up, I slammed the door shut, and placed a broom in front of it.

HANK'S VOICE: Davis? What are you doing?
ME: I believe it's called an intervention.
HANK'S VOICE: What?
ME: You're going to get all that nasty stuff out of your system while we wait for the snowstorm to wear off.
HANK'S VOICE: Um, Davis, you sound like you're losing it.
ME: It's possible. Almost dying can do that to you.
HANK'S VOICE: Davis, if I'm trapped in here, who will take care of you?
ME: I'm sure I can find someone who can do as good a job as you've been doing so far, Hank.

While he was pounding on the door, my phone started ringing.

ME: Hello?
JACKSON'S VOICE: Davis, it's me.
ME: You can't just say it's me. The only difference between your voice and Jeremy's voice is a slight lisp.
JACKSON: One, sorry you didn't die. Two, Jeremy's missing.
ME: What?
JACKSON: His car is still here, and he's gone. It's awful outside. Where could he be?
ME: Maybe he went for a walk?
JACKSON: I thought they said you WEREN'T taking your drugs?
ME: Have you tried calling him?
JACKSON: His phone is here and...

He trailed off.

ME: What?
JACKSON: Have you seen the Wilde Blog today?
ME: No, why?
JACKSON: I think I know where he is.

If it involves the Wilde Blog, this can't be good.