It's Not My Party, But I'll Cry If I Want To

Hi, my name is Adam.

ME: Where is he?

I'm about to crash this bitch.

BILLY: Adam, are you okay?
ME: Don't talk to me. I'm here for Joey.
BILLY: Look, you don't want to cause a scene.
ME: No, actually, I really want to cause a scene.

That's when I punched a hole in the wall.

BILLY: Wow, I'm not going to lie. I'm impressed.

Patrick was having a party, and shocked, I wasn't invited, but guess who was?

My boyfriend.

Or ex-boyfriend, as the case may be.

SIMON: Oh hey Adam.
ME: Hey Simon, you seen Joey?
SIMON: I think he's in Patrick's bedroom.
ME: Why am I not surprised?

I burst into the bedroom and there was Patrick--

--throwing up.

Joey was holding his head while he puked into a bucket.

ME: Uh...
JOEY: Adam, what are you doing here?
ME: I, uh, came to...tell you off...
JOEY: Um, can it wait? I'm a little busy.
ME: Yeah, I can--

That was when Patrick lifted up his head and threw up all over Joey.

ME: I'll just...yeah.

Something tells me I was getting my revenge before I even realized it.