Walk Like a Man

Hi, my name is Nathan.

JEREMY: I don't get it, Nathan.

Progress is not my friend.

JEREMY: I thought we'd see more results by now.

Jeremy has been helping me with my physical therapy for a few weeks now, but we weren't getting anywhere. This is partly because I don't need physical therapy. I can walk just fine, but I don't need anybody to know that.

I figure once I'm ready, I can start to show signs of improvement.

Until then, I have Jeremy developing a serious Florence Nightingale complex, Ben is still under my thumb, and I just joined a wheelchair basketball league.

Life is good.

ME: Jeremy, don't worry about it. The doctors said it could take time before I can walk again.

I never actually saw a doctor, but I'm assuming that's what one would say to me if I was actually disabled.

JEREMY: Well, in the meantime, I'll just keep working with you.
ME: You're so sweet.

He was still next to me on the mat in my bedroom, so I leaned over and--

JEREMY: Whoa, what are you doing?
ME: I'm sorry.
JEREMY: Nathan, I'm with Billy.

Stupid Billy. If Ben had just seduced him like he was supposed to, I'd be with Jeremy right now.

ME: I know, it's just...I get so lonely.
JEREMY: But you have Ben.
ME: Oh, come on, Jeremy. I know Ben tried to sleep with Billy. I know that's why you two aren't talking.

I actually encouraged Ben's plan, but when it failed, I told him that if he tried dragging me down with him, I'd tell everyone that he was driving the car that technically should have put me in a wheelchair...but didn't.

JEREMY: Why don't you break up with him then?
ME: And be by myself? I wouldn't make it.
JEREMY: Sure you would. You're stronger than you think.
ME: Jeremy, please, I'm depressed enough as it is.

I got up into my chair hoping my pity party worked.

JEREMY: I'm sorry. I know it must be hard. But just know that you'll never be alone. I'll always be here.

That was when the fire alarm went off.

I jumped up out of the chair, grabbed Jeremy, and ran into the living room...

VOICE: Oh my God!

...And right into Ben.

BEN: I was going to tell you guys that I burnt dinner.

I turned around and looked at Jeremy. He was horrified.

Ben didn't look too thrilled either.

BEN: So I guess that therapy's working wonders, huh?

Well, what do you know?

A miracle.