Moral Turpitude

Hi, my name is Bart.

I am a Columbia graduate with a bachelor's degree in Political Science. Currently I'm attending Brown University getting my master's in--

Well, it's a little complicated, but it's basically a P.R. degree.

I live here in Providence with my boyfriend, and I'm the Vice-Chair of RI-TRI (for Triangle), the committee that handles all GLBT activities in Rhode Island.

After this morning, I was fairly confident I was going to be able to acquire the Chair position on the committee.

Like most gay men in this state, I'm a religious reader of the Wilde Blog, although I hate to admit it. It provides vital information from time to time; like for instance, the news that the Chair of RI-TRI--John Davis--is a promiscuous sleazebag.

Don't get me wrong. This wasn't what you'd call a newsflash. Just about everyone knows the type of guy Davis is, but having it broadcast like this was going to give me the opening I needed to finally get him off the committee.

Over the years we've butted heads on every issue. As Chair, he has two votes on every decision, which has always helped him push his get his way--up until now.

Tonight's meeting of RI-TRI commenced at 7pm. There are about fifteen of us--an assorted mixture of people, just about all of them devoted members of the community who donate their time generously and (a lot of the time) thanklessly.

And then there's Davis, who took the Chair position under somewhat controversial circumstances as has held it ever since due to the high profile--a profile that was now going to derail him.

ME: I'd like to call this meeting of RI-TRI to order.
DAVIS: Bart, I believe that's my job.

Davis was at one end of a long conference table in the RI-TRI office downtown. I was at the other. The other men in the room were already tense. They knew what was coming.

I was about to be the Linda Evans to Davis' Joan Collins.

ME: Actually, in situations like this--
DAVIS: Like what?
ME: I'm calling for your removal, Davis.

Davis scoffed, but nobody else made a sound. I had warned them before the meeting--calling each of them personally--that this was going to happen, and they assured me I had their full support. The mystique of John Davis was finally going to run out.

DAVIS: Again, Bart? This is the fifth time.
ME: Fourth.
DAVIS: Like that makes it any less sad. You're not getting me out; you have no justification for even attempting it.
ME: I believe your moral turpitude puts the reputation of this committee in jeopardy, Davis.
DAVIS: The reputation of this committee? Are you kidding me? We're all a bunch of parade-organizing alcoholics who listen to club music on the way to work in the morning and dance shirtless at bars on Tuesday nights. Reputation has never been one of our strong suits.

I'll give him this; he knows how to make a point. Still, there was rumbling among the men at the table. If there's one thing gay men hate, it's being called out on their behavior.

ME: I would like to change that, and I believe the other members of the committee would like to as well. Unfortunately, we're not going to be able to with our Chair bringing home boys from clubs--
DAVIS: You're joking.
ME: I'm not--
DAVIS: This is about the Wilde Blog? You're going to depose me over a blog? Do you have any idea how--
ME: It speaks to your character. And although the Wilde Blog is a little sensational at times; it's usually fairly accurate, and well-known throughout the community. If it says you brought home someone else's boyfriend--
DAVIS: What I do in my personal time has no bearing--
ME: It has plenty of bearing.
DAVIS: I'm sorry, Bart, are you not getting fucked enough at home? Is that what this is about?

This caused the table to go into an uproar. People started shouting at Davis to be civil. I just sat back and smiled. He was digging himself into a hole he wouldn't be getting out of anytime soon.

When things had settled down once more, I made my motion.

ME: I call for the removal of John Davis.

The motion was seconded.

DAVIS: That goes to a vote.
ME: Fine. Let's vote.
DAVIS: I want a week.
ME: For what?
DAVIS: To plead my case to the members.
ME: You're not going to sway anybody, Davis. We don't need to give you a week.
DAVIS: I'm entitled.

I could have fought harder, but I figured, why bother? If he wanted a week to commit more acts of slutitude, let him go for it.

ME: Fine. We'll reconvene in one week, and then we'll vote.

We covered a few more topics, and then the meeting was adjourned. Davis stormed out of the room as soon as we were done. He had been staring at me the entire length of the meeting looking like he wanted to throw a spear through my heart. Hopefully I wouldn't be running into him in the lobby of our building.

In addition to being fierce adversaries, we're also neighbors. We both live in an apartment building on the east side.

As I was saying my good-byes to the committee members, my phone went off.

ME: Hey handsome.
JOEY: Hey.
ME: How was staying at your Mom's last night?
JOEY: It was fine. I wish I could have come home but--
ME: No, you needed to help out with your sister's party. I completely understand. But you'll be home tonight, right?
JOEY: Probably, but I'm definitely going to be in pretty late. I've got a ton of stuff to do after the store closes tonight.
ME: That's fine. I have tons of homework. I was going to do as much of it as I could and then pass out. But we'll catch up on bonding time this weekend.
JOEY: You bet.

This is the great thing about my boyfriend. He's incredibly understanding when it comes to my hectic schedule. One of the reasons we decided to move in together was so that we wouldn't have to stress out about spending time together. Now that we're living together we can just see each other when we're both home. It's going to be great.

ME: Hey, remind me to tell you about how I nailed Davis today.
JOEY: You what?
ME: It's kind of complicated, but we'll have a good laugh over it at dinner this weekend, okay?
JOEY: Sounds great.
ME: Okay. Oh! I like your new shirt by the way.
JOEY: What new shirt?
ME: The one you threw in the laundry today. It's cute. It must be a little big on you though.
JOEY: Oh...yeah. I'll probably bring it back.
ME: Don't. I'll wear it.
JOEY: Um...okay.
ME: All right, gotta go. I have to keep networking. You have no idea how hard it is screwing John Davis.
JOEY: Oh, I think I might.
ME: Gotta go. Love you, babe.
JOEY: Love you.

God, does life get any better than this?