Lunch with Mom

Hi, my name is Jackson.

JOAN:  I'm so happy we could spend some quality time together.
ME:  Are you still having trouble telling Jeremy and me apart after twenty-seven years?
JOAN:  Hahaha why do you always insist that I like your brother more than I like you?
ME:  Because when we were born you took him home and left me at the hospital with a note that said 'Careful with This One.'
JOAN:  You never could let go of the past.
ME:  What is it you want, Mom?

She leaned over her two pieces of lettuce and whispered to me.

JOAN:  I want to find a way to keep your brother here.
ME:  That's it?
JOAN:  He keeps talking about leaving.
ME:  That's what he says, but trust me, Mom, he's not going anywhere.
JOAN:  Are you sure?
ME:  Wouldn't he have left already?
VOICE:  Well hello!

We both turned to see Jeremy walking into the restaurant.

He sat down next to us.  I wondered if this was part of Mom's plan.

JOAN:  Sweetheart, we were just talking about you and your...plans.
JEREMY:  My plans?
JOAN:  Yes, as in, what are they?
ME:  Mom--
JEREMY:  Well, I'm leaving for New York tomorrow.
ME/MOM:  What?!
JEREMY:  I need to go back for at least a few weeks.
ME:  What about everything that's happening with Ben?  And now Billy?
JEREMY:  I can't get involved with anything that has to do with Billy.  I'm sure Nathan can handle this on his own.
MOM:  But what about me?  The Mother/Son Picnic for the East Siders Club is next weekend!
JEREMY:  Mom, you're making that up.
ME:  At least, we hope you are.

Joan was already tearing up.

JOAN:  This is all about your father, isn't it?
JEREMY:  Mom, that's--
JOAN:  That's why you moved in the first place.  Because of his disappearance.
ME:  You mean murder.
JOAN:  Jackson!
ME:  Nobody just disappears.  Haven't we learned that by now?
JOAN:  Jeremy, darling, it was years ago.  It's time to move on with your life.
JEREMY:  That's what I'm doing, Mom.  I just don't want to do that here.  I can't.  I'm sorry.

And he got up, and left.

ME:  So Mom, what else do you want to talk about?
JOAN:  Oh go to hell, Jackson.

Now there's the mother I know and love.